CHRISTMAS IN MY HEART!!

Christmas isn’t Christmas,
Til it happens in your heart
Somewhere deep inside you
Is where Christmas really starts…

So give your heart to Jesus
You’ll discover when you do
That it’s Christmas… Really Christmas, for you!!

Yes, Christmas isn’t really Christmas til it happens in our hearts. This Christmas brings various kinds of feelings and emotions. But I ask for love – God’s love!! Reflections of the past came flashing back, and I had wondered why He let it flood back in to my memory bank. Good ones are definitely worth smiling at, but what about the not-so-good ones? With all those experiences, I believe some way or another, He has built me up stronger and a lil more mature. One lesson I’ve definitely learnt: Silence lets you “see” things beyond the surface. And when the truth decides to reveal itself one day, the effect will not be as bad, haha. Therefore, one resolution for 2007: To go on adopting that quiet and gentle [if I was ever gentle at all to begin with, haha] spirit :))

I have always felt that Christmas will not be complete without this song. How much more true can the lyrics get? Indeed, we are the reason that He gave His life. I AM THE REASON THAT HE GAVE HIS LIFE.

As little children
We would dream of Christmas morn
Of all the gifts and toys we knew we’ll find
But we never realized a Baby born one blessed night
Gave us the greatest gift of our lives

We are the reason that he gave His life
We are the reason that He suffered and died
For a world that was lost He gave all He could give
To show us the reason to live

As the years went by
We learn more about gifts
The giving of ourselves and what that means
On a dark and cloudy day a man hung crying in the rain
Because if love, because of love

I’ve finally found the reason for living
It’s in giving every part of my heart to Him
In all that I do, every word that I say
I’ll be giving my all, just for Him
For Him

My Jesus did it for me, and now I’m doing it for HIM!!

WHEN LOVE & FRIENDSHIP GETS CONFUSED...

The truth can sometimes hurt. And I WAS hurt when the truth came unexpectedly yesterday, despite having known very well about it two years back. But I guess love, God’s love to be exact, washed and covered that whole bad experience. I guess that the many similar experiences that I went through helped matured me in one way or another. If this was thrown at me back then, I would have “crumbled”, haha.

Many people say or make promises. Yet not many can keep them. “I will never…” Now, u knw the phrase well: NEVER SAY NEVER!! The more u vow with the word NEVER, the more it will happen… I thought I was strong enough to face it, but I was wrong. Not because I have not gotten over the whole issue, but because of the fact that the truth was hidden from me. A promise never to let xxx come between our friendship? Haha. I guess I was hurt again when the whole story was re-lived. Realization of the hurt only sank in when I retire to bed last night. Couldn’t sleep until almost 3 a.m. I might have put on a strong front, but that was a mask. I might have acted “selamba” around u, but deep down……… Hahaha :p

Can I juz ask that the “bad experiences” stop/end here once and for all? I’m just afraid that I might not be able to take it any longer. Tired of wearing a mask, especially in this particular area. Set me free, pleeeease!! Hahahaha :)) but one thing I want you to know, I never drew any line in our friendship despite the painful truth…

[p/s: Just let this be a passing history and/or chapter. But if you ever decide to comment, you dun have to reveal yourself. Keep your identity to yourself k? I dun wanna complicate things further! Thanx.]

A PASSION…

…is something that, I would say, is inborn. That would mean something we do effortlessly, rather than struggling with something that we do not have a single idea about.


…because it is a gift from God, it comes naturally when we are in a position that will maximize that particular gift.


…is where we perform best!! Where we are passionate with what we do, and do best.


…REMAINS A PASSION NO MATTER WHAT!!

** I am not going to bear with it any longer. Once I found another root, I'm leaving this one!!

2 persons – no, make it 3 – take a very special place in my heart. Sometimes, we don’t need words to speak our hearts. Just that special look, a glance that we exchange. Thanx Esther, Wei and Evie!! You guys have really been tremendous blessings *muakz* I will never trade this friendship that we share for anything at all in this world :)

OF WEDDINGS, CHRISTMAS, AND WISHES…

Somehow this December sees many weddings: Friends’, relatives’… How sweet it is to see two different individuals become one… A marriage makes two fractional lives a whole… It gets even sweeter when the marriage is God-ordained *winkz* the love story of a couple whose relationship is solely centered on the Lord Jesus… Patience is virtue, therefore marriage becomes more beautiful when we are able to WAIT for the right person at the right time, hehe.

Yesterday was Lee Yen’s big day. She juz looked awesome!! The equation to such charm in an individual is, I would say, inner beauty + the wonderful hands of God = an admirable young lady (and of course the young man as well). Both the bride and the groom were respectable individuals who had qualities worth looking up to, and this is where I promised myself that I would wanna be like them, making them my role models…

To the newly weds, Chin Thye & Lee Yen: Thanx for having been tremendous blessings in my life. Distance will separate us physically but the love of God bonds us together in the spirit. Take care, all the best & love you lots!!

anxiously awaiting the arrival of the bride

a prayer of blessing for the couple

dont be shy, you may now kiss the bride *lol*


Me with Mr & Mrs Lee Chin Thye *lol*

Sweet Sue Sue... kekeke

Pretty Pauline, heheh...

Rachel Chan :)

Is there such a thing as groomsman? Hahaha... Wei, my best buddy, the sai lo of the bride

all in - the Grace PJ gang, hehe

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

This Christmas brings back many memories, marks many milestones and sees the possibilities of many new things, hehe. I have wishes and desires, but they are in the main control of the One above. I want some things to change, I want some others to happen before my eyes. I can never run from my sister who will foresee things before it happens. True enough, now that it has come to past, I cannot deny that feelings anymore. What needs to be done now is to make sure that if it really happens, THIS IS WHAT I REALLY WANT, AND WILL WANT FOR THE REST OF MY LIFE!

With that, an additional reminder is about the promise I made to myself on my birthday last year. Although I am constantly tempted to go against my conscience, I cannot do so for the fact that the sign of the promise I made is hooked to my fingers for as long as I leave it there, haha. It has constantly been a motivation for me to remain faithful to the promise I made to myself. I may wish, think and ponder on it, but until the Lord gives a green light, I have to remain silent.

I am willing to wait for it, because I know that if it is truly from the Lord, I will be blessed beyond words (many people have testified to that anyway, so I just know it *winkz*)

FOR NOW, ALL I WANT FOR CHRISTMAS IS YOU!!

HAPPEEE FOR A CHANGE!!

I’ve been bugging him to tell me the exact date of his return to Malaysia again. But he said he wanted it to be a surprise. Hmm. Assuming that it would be in early December (very near his sister’s wedding, that’s what he told me), I was surprise but very happy at the same time to hear that Wei Sern is back!! Weee~ If I had known, I would have been in Grace to welcome him back, haha…

I sound like some emo freak… miserable one day, happy & excited the next, heh. I just got a call from him 3 hours ago… I will be having a date with him for supper tomorrow nite *winkz* can I take it? First it’s full day at work, then dinner with Light House people to prepare and practice for a small appreciation for our cell leader at a sub zone gathering this Friday… hopefully it wont drag too long as my dear Wei Sern would be next in line, haha…

I’m happeee… as of now, it’s exactly 24 hours more til I meet up with him tomorrow nite… hooray!! Hey, thanx for the 8 yrs of friendship, my dear friend…

[my mom adviced me to arrange it to another nite considering I’ll be out again for dinner once I get back from work, being concerned that I will be tired after a whole day at work… but just for Wei, I don’t and won’t mind, hehe]

NEVER TRY NEVER KNOW, BUT ONCE BITTEN TWICE SHY…

Three more days sees me through one month of working with my new company, a company secretarial firm. Honestly, I really don’t know how I ended up in this line. Was it because of my own big mouth and eager expression to give it a shot when my mom’s friend, Patricia, a.k.a. my lady boss called to ask if any of my sister’s friends who might be interested to work? Look what happened now!! I sent myself into the crocodile’s mouth, ahaha *sigh*

It’s true that if we never tried, we’d never know (when I say this, I'm refering to all other aspects as well la :p). But now that I’ve tasted it, will there be a way out for me? I could see the pattern of the absence of passion in the things I do. What’s worse is that I know nuts about this line. One week is enough for me to want out, but it looks very clear to me that I am trapped in my own option. Not only am I not passionate about this job, I have to face an unreasonable “bunch of people” who is constantly demanding for things, bla bla. So am I expected to tolerate being blamed for something I did not do at all?

A friend said I’ll “do fine”, and told me to “hang in there.” Coming from someone whose friendship I treasure much, it really means a lot. Thanks, dear!! But can I really do it? I do not wish to be like a square knot, that after having been tied down, I cannot entangle myself again, finding no way out!!

Yesterday's message by Ps. Matthew Foo Yung Chean entitled THE BEST IS YET TO COME was a good one as far as I was concerned, heh… For He said in His Word that “He will not let us be tempted beyond what we can bear…” so I am looking out for a way out soon… as soon as He’s finished with what He wants to do with me tho, kekeke :p

Let me cry!!

My thoughts have been in a mess again… many things have been going on inside of me and I know I need to get it out, but I failed yet again… as I lay on my bed waiting to fall asleep each night, I want someone to be there to listen to me… but yet I know that even if there is someone (of coz I can count on my sis, but somehow I know it wont work), it will not make any difference because I don’t even know how to bring them out…

Perhaps it’s just one of those times when I don’t even know or can’t even tell what I want from myself. I put up a strong front, yet I feel like crumbling inside. I know I feel like crying, but the tears seemed to have dried and refused to flow… a friend once told me that it is good to cry once in a while, letting out all that is inside (now if he, a guy, can express himself by crying, why does it seem so hard for me?) Debbie Debbie’s (Debbie Yeow, that is) words of blessing for me on my birthday last week was that I will be surrounded with trustworthy friends with whom I can share my darkest secrets. I’m still waiting for these trustworthy ones, haha.

2006 will come to a close very very soon… will I, then, be able to look back and see progress? Will I put a smile on His face and be worthy of His Words, “Well done, good and faithful servant!”

Come, Holy Spirit, fall on me now
I need Your anointing, come in Your pow’r
I love You, Holy Spirit, You captivate my soul
And everyday I grow to love You more

** I’m reachin’ for Your heart
You hold my life in Your hands
Drawing me closer to You
I feel Your power renew
Nothing compares to this place
Where I can see You face to face
I worship You in spirit and in truth.

[a new song I learnt from DUMC's Young Adults' retreat back in August this year...]

BECAUSE YOU LOVED ME!!

For all those times you stood by me
For all the truth that you made me see
For all the joy you brought to my life
For all the wrong that you made right
For every dream you made come true
For all the LOVE I found in you
I’ll be forever thankful baby
You’re the one who held me up
Never let me fall
You’re the one who saw me through
Through it all.

** You were my strength when I was weak
You were my voice when I couldn’t speak
You were my eyes when I couldn’t see
You saw the best there was in me
Lifted me up when I couldn’t reach
You gave me faith coz you believed
I’m everything I am
Because you loved me.

You gave me wings and made me fly
You touched my hand I could touch the sky
I lost my faith, you gave it back to me
You said no star was out of reach
You stood by me and I stood tall
I had your love I had it all
I’m grateful for each day you gave me
Maybe I don’t know that much
But I know this much is true
I was blessed because I was loved by you.

Bridge: You were always there for me
The tender wind that carried me
A light in the dark
Shining your love into my life
You’ve been my inspiration
Through the lies you were the truth
My world is a better place
Because of you.

Subsequent to the birthday celebration Friday and Wednesday, I would like to dedicate this song to all who has been a part of such a special day for me!! My family (parents & sibs)… My Light House cell members, the members of Father’s Garden cell group… And everyone else with their thoughtful e-cards and sms-es *winkz* To that special “someone” out there, whoever you are, you are an inspiration to me in many, many ways!! Most of all to My Creator, my Refuge, my Comforter and Friend, I was blessed because I was LOVED BY YOU… And I am who I am today because of You!!

A SWEET SURPRISE!!

I turned prematurely a year older by two days, haha. It was pre planned that since we don’t have cell on Friday, there will be a “cell makan outing” on Wednesday for the members of Light House. Evie picked me up and headed for THE CURVE yesterday. I just allowed myself to be pushed and led around as I have only been to that place once.

So I thought it was only a casual “makan” with my cell members. Surprisingly, as we exited the lift, I saw Sharon from Father’s Garden. Suspicion started building up, and it really doubled over when I spotted the rest of the Father’s Garden members sitted around a table in Restaurant Heaven. It was a unique place, with a live band complimenting our dinner. They take song requests too *winkz*

When You Say Nothing At All, If Tomorrow Never Comes A birthday “makan” will not be a birthday “makan” without the HAPPY BIRTHDAY song, hehe. A really sweet and simple celebration!! Thanx!! To the person who organised it (i'm sorry i dunno who, but u knw who u are), thank u!! Tho it is short, sweet and simple, it still means alot to me, really!! It's the thought that counts, amen? ;) ooh, and a very nice place u chose too, with the singing and all, haha... To the members of Father's Garden (whether anot ur being there is planned), thank u for being a part of this. Heard that u guys are supposed to have cell tonite? Haha... Thanx for having been a part of my life, tho it has only been a short time that i got to knw u guys... To every1 who were there, thanx for all the blessings and wishes... Will treasure and keep them close to heart :)

Light House: My very own cell group

Light House girls

Evie girl!! The most bubbly, jumpy, laugh-y gal I ever met :p hehehe

Nicole.. I guessed she was the one behind this surprise for me, heh.. Thanx girl!! I had a great time..

Father’s Garden: Two cells before mine.. I call them our “grand mother cell” XD

The candle that a friend used as an illustration for his birthday blessings for me.. So sweet :”>

Ooh, and Sharon... That was a very good way of detouring and cover-up, haha...

Thanx and thanx again!! May our friendship be blessed with many many more years to come :)

Hugz & muakz from me... Hahaha :))

FOR A CHANGE.

NO COMPROMISE! How will this phrase affect and/or make an impact in my life? Referring to last Sunday's message by Ps. SS Kee entitled FAITHFUL OR FATAL CHOICES, I have always been taught to follow the right teachings of the Bible and never compromise my stand for God. But can I do it? Am I courageous enough to stand for what is right? Or do I just ignore the faults and play along with it? My new job has been good. Or so it seems. Whatever that means, I just want to do the right thing, according to His will. I have passed one stage where the theme “No compromise” is concerned. Is this another test? Lord, help me!!

On a different note, I am seeing a new perspective for a new future. Yeehaaa. Speaking of new, indeed I want quite a few new things. But am I ready for it? When He drops it on my lap, am I ready to embrace it? For this, I have to thank a good friend for offering perceptions and insights to the situation. Thanx Wei for taking the time to hear me out that day *winkz*

Speaking of new, my new “car” arrived yesterday. My very own, made-up version of “Quickie 813”, haha (dun ask me what’s with the number, tho. Heehee.) Moving about in the office is now a very much easier task, especially having to carry big and heavy files. I need to use the typewriter and the computer alternately, so switching from one workstation to another has also been made easier with my dear Quickie. Let’s see if I get to use it at other times besides work. Perhaps like shopping, where I don’t need people to push me around, and therefore can go wherever I like.

Just stop it!!

It’s damn annoying to know that history is repeating itself again. It happened before, it is happening again. It can be avoided if people weren’t too free to start creating havoc. I can never understand what thrills them so much to see arguments happen between two very close friends which will lead to their drifting apart. Is it jealousy? Or just for the heck of it?

At one point some time ago, my friendship with a fellow friend deteriorated just because of uncalled for rumors. And now that I am in a totally new environment, I thought that it will not happen again. Perhaps I thought wrong. Enough is enough!! Whoever you are, don’t you think I deserve some respect? Thanx for the “help”, but no thanx, ok?? Read me properly: NO THANK YOU!!

After an event last Thursday [yes, last Thursday is correct. I have been missing from cyber world because of a very irritating connection again. Thankfully, I dun have to use streamyx for work anymore. And yes, I have started my new job. Will go more into it later], I just sensed something fishy and felt a bit uneasy at that. True enough a day later, I was confronted. Whoever you are, will you just stop it?? Please read the four-letter word properly: I HATE the way my friendships are being ruined by a third party!! If you happened to bump into this but still don’t get the hint, God bless you for being so insensitive!!

Stressful rigidity…

I never believed in the enforcement of rigid rules and inflexible ways of dealing with something, or anything at all for that matter. Especially when there is nothing to do with life or death. Why so hard on rules which will make the life of others difficult as well? Haha. Perhaps coming from the mouth of a Phlegmatic like me may be a little surprising since Phleggies are “followers” and will just go with the flow rather than having the trouble of leading or even thinking up something.

I know it is just their personality but it just irritates me when someone insist on rigidly following suit to an earlier plan rather than go with the flow. If you don’t see a possibility in one way, try another. Even when u don’t see an “open door” to a certain situation, perhaps the best way is to use another “door” that u know will eventually lead to the same exit. I have been put in charge of handling a certain department, and this being my first time, it is difficult for me to start something. But once it gets started, I’ll go with the flow. So, why not just go with the flow, even if it means changing focus? I think the best thing to do is to leave the options open for another to chip some ideas in. I’m tired, haha.

Well, let’s forget the stress. She shall take care of it herself if she wishes to do so. On an unrelated matter, someone turns 22 today. Okok, sounds so stranger-ish. No stranger la. He is a good friend of mine, none other than Wei Sern. Today, in Australian time, which is two hours ahead. So at 10 p.m. Malaysian time just now, I surprised him by ringing him, haha. Glad to hear that he is coping well and in no time coming back. Weeee~ I am waiting, haha. I’m counting on you, dear. I’m sure u know what I mean. Kekeke. So yea, all the best for greater things ahead. 22 years and definitely getting better. Cheers!

Sushi, Udon, Sashimi, Teppanyaki... And everything Jap!!

I suddenly have a craving for Japanese food, haha. Give me an inch, I want a foot. Hmm. I guess the farewell lunch last week made the mark. Then I stumbled upon one of the entries in the MoNSTerBlog, a collaboration between the News Straits Times and Jaring. Sushi? Oooo, haha. Let’s pray hard that Connor would suggest something different for the next birthday bash. Some place that offers sushi *winkz* Then, I would be more than grateful. When time comes, and that really happens you will know why.

Perhaps I should learn how to make them myself, kekeke. Now that it has become one of my favourites, I should learn how to pamper myself with it regularly. Who knows I may decide to take only sushi as my main meal, if I will ever be selected for Duskin again this year :p well, I am applying again, so who knows? I am just getting accustomed to more Japanese food for now. Udon is not a bad idea too. Wahaha XD

A FIRST TRY…

It’s been a while since I baked/made something to eat. The last time was 10 months ago, at a Praise Giver’s BBQ appreciation nite. Back then, I had just started my occupational therapy in “making my own breakfast”, so what other simple breakfast other than egg mayo sandwich. It was a good experience, doing everything on my own from the preparation to the cleaning up.

More than a week ago, my mom made some muffins for a friend’s birthday. Freshly out of the microwave, it smells great. It tastes great too. Having promised another friend that I would make him a treat, he had preferred it to be a surprise rather than rigidly telling me what he wanted. So, the idea came that instead of making sandwiches again, I would give it a try making this new recipe *winkz*

Evie had tried it as well, and she suggested that this could be our next specialty for next year’s Carnival. Hmm. Anyway, here’s my humble mix of blueberry & strawberry muffin. I think the blueberry tastes nicer, heh.

Stagnant is no good…

The Bible clearly state that there is a time for everything. Which includes a time to retreat and a time to progress. But it did not mention a time to remain stagnant. Indeed I have progressed quite abit mentally, emotionally and spiritually. But yet I feel like I am so stagnant in a very different way. Perhaps no one will EVER know or understand how I feel except God Himself. I want to move forward, but yet I cant seem to have the strength to do so. I want to turn back time, but I know it is impossible (unless miracle of miracles, God allows it la). What has happened, happened for a reason. It is no point opening that chapter of my life again. It is juzt there for memories.

It is frustrating to be left “hanging in mid air”, not moving any forward. People always say, “talk about it and you’ll feel much better.” I don’t think so. If talking about it makes things better, I wouldn’t mind spilling my heart out. I know there are a couple of really trustworthy buddies who will be all ears if I needed them. But they are not God to make it a miracle for me, so what is the point? People are excited for me, but then again, they don’t know how I really, really feel. I’m tired, literally!! Although, of course everything else is going fine, maybe I just happen to feel abit emo at this particular point. Perhaps it’s just the feeling of getting stuck in the middle. Haha.

Can I say I want out, Lord? Out of all these headaches. Heh.

More than just a job…

I’ve never realize how time flies by so quickly. 9 months ago on the 25th of January 2006, I was all jittery and nervous, not knowing what to expect, when I was selected to work for JICA project, collaboration with the Jabatan Kebajikan Masyarakat Malaysia. 9 months down the road, I feel a sense of lost when I have to give it up for a better job elsewhere. But then again, people grow and progress from one level to another. Perhaps this new job is a foundation on which my future will be built.

Today is my last day and I will definitely miss everything that has got to do with JICA, or even JKM. When I broke the news to Kenji, he was all smiles for the fact that I found something that will benefit me better. Now he has to go in search for another assistant, haha. I had to follow up on outstanding task and assignments before leaving, so it was quite a busy day for me. Nevertheless, lunch break was really good. He’d told another pegawai OKU, Joy, about my leaving, and had asked her to come along for a small farewell lunch. It was simple yet awesome, I must say. He suggested Japanese food, and yeap, it totally suits me, haha. The sushi was the best, hehe. Thanks, Kenji. Thanks, Joy!!

This job is definitely more than just a job. It is a learning ground. It is also a character building tool. It is a stress relieving station, albeit it’s a work place, somewhere away from home. A place where I get to release “things” out of my mind when Kenji decides to get me talking about unavoidable life’s events. I’ll definitely miss such a caring “counselor” when advice and opinions are needed. He had said that if I were to ever decide to go back and work with him, I am always welcomed, haha.

Whatever it is, I am grateful for that support. A promise I make. To God, to my loved ones, to Kenji and to myself: I will do my very best, for a job that I will love *winkz* thanx Mi & Di!! Arigato gozaimasu, Kuno-san!! Stay in touch!!

Some things got to go in order for new ones to come in…

…is something I mentioned two entries ago, and now so many things really have to go. The comfort of working from my very own room, the freedom of catching up on repeats of chinese series that I might miss. The liberty of taking one (or even half) day off, just to lepak. The worst part is I might have to miss leaders retreat :’(( All these fun has got to go in replacement of a new job. But I believe everything good comes with a cost, or we will not learn. I had specifically wanted a new job, an office job if possible, something totally different from what I am already doing right now. Most importantly, nothing to do with streamyx at all. And yes, you guessed it. I got myself just that *winkz*

A friend of my mom called to ask if my sis has any friends who would be interested to work. The minute I heard that it was an office job, my eyes lit up in excitement. So instead of asking around my sister’s friends, my mom mentioned me to her friend. To cut the story short, last Thursday I was asked to go have a look at the environment of the office. After testing out the practicality of the job requirements and specification, I knew very well I wanted it. I even had a short, unexpected interview with the director. Then and there, they said that I got the job. For formality’s sake, they called again the next day to inform that I was to start work in November. Walao!!

Now to inform Nick, my telemarketing superior. This week would also be the last week of me going to KL working for Kenji. Hmm.

[addition: that same Thursday night, my mom went for prayer meet. The prophet W. Madukwe said something like, “This same time tmrw, you will receive a miracle!” Walao, how wonderful is that? True enough, that same time the next day, my “miracle” came *winkz*]

But one thing he said during service yesterday that I will take hold of: YOUR TOMORROW WILL BE BETTER THAN TODAY!!

Not only in terms of career, but I believe in every aspects as well, heheeee~

1) This is my desire, to honor You
Lord, with all my heart, I worship You
All I have within me, I give You praise
All that I adore is in You

Lord, I give You my heart
I give You my soul
I live for You alone
Every breath that I take
Every moment I’m awake
Lord, have Your way in me.

2) You are beautiful beyond description
Too marvelous for words
Too wonderful for comprehension
Like nothing ever seen or heard
Who can grasp Your infinite wisdom
Who can fathom the depths of Your love
You are beautiful beyond description
Majesty, enthroned above

And I stand, I stand in awe of You
I stand, I stand in awe of You
Holy God to whom all praise is due
I stand in awe of You.

My Jesus matters more…

Is it true that after you’ve reached a certain age, your status is something to “worry” about? Single, Attached, or “In the process”? It tickled me to see how concern one can get about me where this issue is concerned. I have left this issue behind my mind for some time now, also leaving it in God’s hands. Like Alvin said, “Leaving this department to God.” But ever so recently Kenji decided to be cheeky and started asking me about how I was progressing. Hmm. Not that I mind. It just shows that he is concerned, heh.

It is something rare for a superior to ask his employee about very personal stuff. Not with Kenji though, haha. He asked, he listened. He teased. He also commented. Very sporting, I would say. Since he asked, I shared with him bits and pieces of what has been happening. Conversations with him about relationship issues has really made me think of my own mentality and standards and what I really wanted as far as such a commitment is concerned. [ooh, I found out that he doesn’t only interrogate me. According to him, his other assistant, Siti, gets “equal treatment” as well. Hmm.] Ok la, interrogate is a wrong word. Let’s just say he is curious :p

No doubt, I cannot avoid this topic forever. People tell me I’ve “got to start somewhere.” But it is easier said than done. Many of my friends have shared their experiences with me, which is really a good eye opener. Being in a relationship requires a lot from both parties and the main question is “Am I ready?” “Is he (whoever he is) ready?” Perhaps I appear to look cool and calm about this whole issue. That is merely because I have decided to “let God be God” and “leave this department to Him.” Quoting my sis and Alvin respectively there, hehe.

For now, my Jesus matters more *winkz*

SICK & TIRED!!

How long will this have to go on? How long more do I have to be working from home, helplessly depending on the streamyx connection to determine my income? I know some older adults would tell me that my blaming the internet connection is a childish act. But you’ve got to be in my position to understand the frustrations when the line faces interruptions. Perhaps my parents have seen me being distracted by mails coming in and friends buzzing me for a chat. But that doesn’t mean I neglect my work altogether. Which is better? Being able to work (that’s if the connection chooses to behave itself), with occasional freedom to do other things or not being able to work at all?

Just when I mentioned about the Reader’s Digest job requiring me to call overseas (here again, I need the streamyx), I’m put into these kind of stress! They need it done fast, but what can I do? The connection was all fine until it started raining and my dad was rushing me to switch the streamyx off. See the trouble? My work is stranded once it starts raining and thundering. I HATE to switch it off because I know this is what I will get after every switching off. Now after four hours, I’m still not connected. Grrgghh!! I’m fed up!! I want something new, something totally unrelated to streamyx.

My mom brought the Tadika Grace issue up again over lunch. I really miss that job. An ideal job like this is what I am looking for. Administrative nature which does not require streamyx, and where distance is not really an issue. Plus I will be in an environment full of children. It brought back memories, good and bad. I wonder what made her bring that up again. Well, of course the bad ones have long been forgotten. It’s more than two years, Mi. As all the memories flooded back in, I wish for a similar job. I am looking into it. If I ever had to make “a big switch” for a similar job, and if it is God’s will to begin with, I am willing. Some “things” got to go in order for new ones to come in.

Passing Time...

1) Sleep with or without clothes on?
With la!! *duh*

2) Prefer black or blue pens?
It doesn’t make my handwriting any different, so I’m fine either way.

3) Like to travel?
Definitely. But then again depends on where the destination would be.

4) Like someone?
Yeap.

5) Does “someone” know?
I think he suspects. But I cant be too sure.

6) Who sleeps with you every night?
My faithful soft toy rabbit. Been with me for 13 yrs now. Who’s the faithful one now? *lol*

7) Think you’re attractive?
A little above average.

8) Want to get married?
Half of me says “yes”, the other half says “I don’t know”.

9) To whom?
To someone who will love me for who I really am.

10) Are you a good student?
Err, yes and no. Haha.

11) Are you currently happy?
Yes and No, haha. Temperamental?

12) Have you been fooled before?
Yes.

13) Coloured or black and white photo?
Coloured. Makes it more “alive.” Whatever that means XD

14) Do long distance relationships work?
It really depends.

15) Do you believe in love at first sight?
Ahah, definitely! [Esther, you know who I’m talkin’ about, don’t you?]

16) Do you consider yourself the life of the party?
Nope, not at all!

17) Have you lied before?
Duh!

18) Do you drink?
Occasionally.

19) Do you make fun of people?
Depending on whether I like you or not. Wahaha XD

20) Do you think dreams eventually come true?
I don’t know. Although I wish all of it will!!

21) Favourite Disney character.
Too many to name. all are just too cute, heehee.

22) Go to the movies or rent?
Movies.

23) Have you ever moved?
Countless times.

24) Last movie you watched.
Err…

25) Last time you went to school.
7 years ago.

26) Loud or soft music?
Soft.

27) Mc D’s or Burger King?
I’m torn between two lovers *lol*

28) Night or day?
Night.

29) Future job.
Kindergarten teacher. Better still the headmistress.

30) Current job.
Something that relates a lot to the phone.

31) Current love?
Mr. xxx *gives a cheeky look*
My bed [it’s the best thing when I am sleep-deprived]

32) Current longing.
More of my Jesus!

33) Current disappointment.
That nothing’s really happening.

34) Current annoyance.
The unstable streamyx connection. Interrupting my work. Grrrggghhh!!

35) Most recent thing you are looking forward to.
“Meeting him” this Sunday *lol*
The next Light House birthday celebration on the 28th.

36) What are you hearing right now?
The many really-hard-to-decipher Australia and U.K. accent each tiem I make that overseas call, haha [working on a new project for Reader’s Digest Malaysia, which requires me to call all the different universities abroad.]

37) Plans for the weekend.
I think I heard something like a steamboat dinner at Yuen Buffet again.

38) What was the most memorable thing you did this week?
Helping out in T.H.E. Carnival that day.
With a lantern in hand, and a group of Light House members, we walk one part of BU neighborhood. [this Light House lantern celebration is an appreciation nite for all who participated in T.H.E. Carnival]

39) Current favourite song.
Come Holy Spirit Fall On Me Now (duno who’s the singer)
Fairy Tale by Guang Liang

40) Pick a favourite TV series quote.
Unless it really stands out to me, I don’t usually remember them.

41) I tag:
Anyone who has time but don’t know how to spend it, haha.

Haih, I guess I’m not that discipline after all. Like I mentioned in No. 36, I am currently working on a new project for Reader’s Digest Malaysia which requires me to call all the different universities abroad to gather some contact information about their uni. For now, it’s Australia and United Kingdom. I have to admit it’s tough, but challenging and fun at the same time. The only thing I find a trouble is to constantly take note of any and all time differences. Ooh, and catching their flowery accent too. Walao!! Thankfully 8 out of 10 are patient enough with me. Some even went the extra mile to spell letter by letter for me. Haha.

With this job, my schedule and time has been all upside down. Australia isn’t all that bad, being only 2 hours ahead of us. I got myself a seperate clock set according to their time and I had to be very careful with my greetings, so that I don’t wish them “Good morning” when it is already into noon time over there, heh. I still make that mistake with Super Pages sometimes, what more this international one where time factor is totally out, haha. The worse is yet to come. This batch that I am doing now is the United Kingdom. 7 hours behind Malaysia, goodness me!! I will need to work until 12 a.m. Malaysian time. So anymore next surprises? Too many jobs la. Pengsan. But then again, I’m paid, so why not *lol*

Ok, their lunch time is up (it’s dinner time for me here), so I’m back to work. See yah!

Backtrack…

We had a family getaway at Genting Highlands last Friday through to Sunday. This time it was something mild. As expected, we didn’t get to the theme parks, just chilling at the hotel. I told myself that I would be taking this opportunity to just relax to the max, so what better thing to do than catch up on my sleep, haha. Such nice and cooling weather. Seriously it was nothing much. I didn’t even have time for pictures, heh. But I manage to zoom in on the highest point from our hotel for a bit.

I had to miss one and a half days of T.H.E Carnival I could have gone for my shift on Sunday afternoon as well, but I promised my kids that I would be there for the closing party of Royal Rangers for this year. One after another, it was a jammed packed day for me, but it’s all for Him *winkz*

anyway, I rushed straight to DUMC after rangers just in time for my slot. Whoa, good business la! Our stall was one of the last few to pack up, imagine. Hehe.

Here comes T.H.E Carnival!!

The following few pics are by Evie. Since I couldn't be there to take them myself, I asked her to help me la, haha :))

His new trademark *lol*

My cell leader & his “superchun” burger, hahaha.

Still with that pose?? Haih :p

Connor's girls a.k.a his "kaki tangan" in contributing to the success of our stall *winkz*

His direct "penolong kanan".

Ooh, wanna see a pastor get "dunked"? Hahaha. Here's Ps Moy How for all :p

Some of my friends had the opportunity of going round “kepoh-ing”, but as I was on duty, I didn’t have that privilege. But it’s alright, I’ll do what is needful and important. Then suddenly, I saw a familiar face, someone with whom I have lost touch for so long. Marie Ann, an ex cell member from the time David Nga was the cell leader, came by to say hi. It was nice to see her there. [tracking back, its been almost a decade since I first joined a cell. Imagine how many cell leaders I have been with & grown up with] Because her boyfriend was a DUMC-ian, that’s why. Speaking of which, it really feels nice to be back in touch with old pals despite our own busy schedules. There’s Joan, there’s Pauline, there’s Jaymee. Hmm. Maybe I could visit them again someday, haha.

My sister's favourite word: Random thought --> seems like quite a number of friends I know “crossed church” as far as their “other half” is concerned, haha. Random conversation between a few of the Light House members:

Member A: Seems like we all crossed ministries to find our partners. He’s from MWM (Music & Worship Ministry), I’m from Dew Crew.

Member B: Yalo, ya lo. Me also. Eh, in fact you also wert (reffering to member C), haha. Own ministry also got but dun want, go over board to the next ministry, heh.

Now, that made me think: If they are talking about “crossing ministries” what have I done? Crossed church? Haha. But of course, I’m not alone, hehe. I know of some others who are in the same situation as well. Hmm. Lets just see how things go.