Stressful rigidity…

I never believed in the enforcement of rigid rules and inflexible ways of dealing with something, or anything at all for that matter. Especially when there is nothing to do with life or death. Why so hard on rules which will make the life of others difficult as well? Haha. Perhaps coming from the mouth of a Phlegmatic like me may be a little surprising since Phleggies are “followers” and will just go with the flow rather than having the trouble of leading or even thinking up something.

I know it is just their personality but it just irritates me when someone insist on rigidly following suit to an earlier plan rather than go with the flow. If you don’t see a possibility in one way, try another. Even when u don’t see an “open door” to a certain situation, perhaps the best way is to use another “door” that u know will eventually lead to the same exit. I have been put in charge of handling a certain department, and this being my first time, it is difficult for me to start something. But once it gets started, I’ll go with the flow. So, why not just go with the flow, even if it means changing focus? I think the best thing to do is to leave the options open for another to chip some ideas in. I’m tired, haha.

Well, let’s forget the stress. She shall take care of it herself if she wishes to do so. On an unrelated matter, someone turns 22 today. Okok, sounds so stranger-ish. No stranger la. He is a good friend of mine, none other than Wei Sern. Today, in Australian time, which is two hours ahead. So at 10 p.m. Malaysian time just now, I surprised him by ringing him, haha. Glad to hear that he is coping well and in no time coming back. Weeee~ I am waiting, haha. I’m counting on you, dear. I’m sure u know what I mean. Kekeke. So yea, all the best for greater things ahead. 22 years and definitely getting better. Cheers!

Sushi, Udon, Sashimi, Teppanyaki... And everything Jap!!

I suddenly have a craving for Japanese food, haha. Give me an inch, I want a foot. Hmm. I guess the farewell lunch last week made the mark. Then I stumbled upon one of the entries in the MoNSTerBlog, a collaboration between the News Straits Times and Jaring. Sushi? Oooo, haha. Let’s pray hard that Connor would suggest something different for the next birthday bash. Some place that offers sushi *winkz* Then, I would be more than grateful. When time comes, and that really happens you will know why.

Perhaps I should learn how to make them myself, kekeke. Now that it has become one of my favourites, I should learn how to pamper myself with it regularly. Who knows I may decide to take only sushi as my main meal, if I will ever be selected for Duskin again this year :p well, I am applying again, so who knows? I am just getting accustomed to more Japanese food for now. Udon is not a bad idea too. Wahaha XD

A FIRST TRY…

It’s been a while since I baked/made something to eat. The last time was 10 months ago, at a Praise Giver’s BBQ appreciation nite. Back then, I had just started my occupational therapy in “making my own breakfast”, so what other simple breakfast other than egg mayo sandwich. It was a good experience, doing everything on my own from the preparation to the cleaning up.

More than a week ago, my mom made some muffins for a friend’s birthday. Freshly out of the microwave, it smells great. It tastes great too. Having promised another friend that I would make him a treat, he had preferred it to be a surprise rather than rigidly telling me what he wanted. So, the idea came that instead of making sandwiches again, I would give it a try making this new recipe *winkz*

Evie had tried it as well, and she suggested that this could be our next specialty for next year’s Carnival. Hmm. Anyway, here’s my humble mix of blueberry & strawberry muffin. I think the blueberry tastes nicer, heh.

Stagnant is no good…

The Bible clearly state that there is a time for everything. Which includes a time to retreat and a time to progress. But it did not mention a time to remain stagnant. Indeed I have progressed quite abit mentally, emotionally and spiritually. But yet I feel like I am so stagnant in a very different way. Perhaps no one will EVER know or understand how I feel except God Himself. I want to move forward, but yet I cant seem to have the strength to do so. I want to turn back time, but I know it is impossible (unless miracle of miracles, God allows it la). What has happened, happened for a reason. It is no point opening that chapter of my life again. It is juzt there for memories.

It is frustrating to be left “hanging in mid air”, not moving any forward. People always say, “talk about it and you’ll feel much better.” I don’t think so. If talking about it makes things better, I wouldn’t mind spilling my heart out. I know there are a couple of really trustworthy buddies who will be all ears if I needed them. But they are not God to make it a miracle for me, so what is the point? People are excited for me, but then again, they don’t know how I really, really feel. I’m tired, literally!! Although, of course everything else is going fine, maybe I just happen to feel abit emo at this particular point. Perhaps it’s just the feeling of getting stuck in the middle. Haha.

Can I say I want out, Lord? Out of all these headaches. Heh.

More than just a job…

I’ve never realize how time flies by so quickly. 9 months ago on the 25th of January 2006, I was all jittery and nervous, not knowing what to expect, when I was selected to work for JICA project, collaboration with the Jabatan Kebajikan Masyarakat Malaysia. 9 months down the road, I feel a sense of lost when I have to give it up for a better job elsewhere. But then again, people grow and progress from one level to another. Perhaps this new job is a foundation on which my future will be built.

Today is my last day and I will definitely miss everything that has got to do with JICA, or even JKM. When I broke the news to Kenji, he was all smiles for the fact that I found something that will benefit me better. Now he has to go in search for another assistant, haha. I had to follow up on outstanding task and assignments before leaving, so it was quite a busy day for me. Nevertheless, lunch break was really good. He’d told another pegawai OKU, Joy, about my leaving, and had asked her to come along for a small farewell lunch. It was simple yet awesome, I must say. He suggested Japanese food, and yeap, it totally suits me, haha. The sushi was the best, hehe. Thanks, Kenji. Thanks, Joy!!

This job is definitely more than just a job. It is a learning ground. It is also a character building tool. It is a stress relieving station, albeit it’s a work place, somewhere away from home. A place where I get to release “things” out of my mind when Kenji decides to get me talking about unavoidable life’s events. I’ll definitely miss such a caring “counselor” when advice and opinions are needed. He had said that if I were to ever decide to go back and work with him, I am always welcomed, haha.

Whatever it is, I am grateful for that support. A promise I make. To God, to my loved ones, to Kenji and to myself: I will do my very best, for a job that I will love *winkz* thanx Mi & Di!! Arigato gozaimasu, Kuno-san!! Stay in touch!!

Some things got to go in order for new ones to come in…

…is something I mentioned two entries ago, and now so many things really have to go. The comfort of working from my very own room, the freedom of catching up on repeats of chinese series that I might miss. The liberty of taking one (or even half) day off, just to lepak. The worst part is I might have to miss leaders retreat :’(( All these fun has got to go in replacement of a new job. But I believe everything good comes with a cost, or we will not learn. I had specifically wanted a new job, an office job if possible, something totally different from what I am already doing right now. Most importantly, nothing to do with streamyx at all. And yes, you guessed it. I got myself just that *winkz*

A friend of my mom called to ask if my sis has any friends who would be interested to work. The minute I heard that it was an office job, my eyes lit up in excitement. So instead of asking around my sister’s friends, my mom mentioned me to her friend. To cut the story short, last Thursday I was asked to go have a look at the environment of the office. After testing out the practicality of the job requirements and specification, I knew very well I wanted it. I even had a short, unexpected interview with the director. Then and there, they said that I got the job. For formality’s sake, they called again the next day to inform that I was to start work in November. Walao!!

Now to inform Nick, my telemarketing superior. This week would also be the last week of me going to KL working for Kenji. Hmm.

[addition: that same Thursday night, my mom went for prayer meet. The prophet W. Madukwe said something like, “This same time tmrw, you will receive a miracle!” Walao, how wonderful is that? True enough, that same time the next day, my “miracle” came *winkz*]

But one thing he said during service yesterday that I will take hold of: YOUR TOMORROW WILL BE BETTER THAN TODAY!!

Not only in terms of career, but I believe in every aspects as well, heheeee~

1) This is my desire, to honor You
Lord, with all my heart, I worship You
All I have within me, I give You praise
All that I adore is in You

Lord, I give You my heart
I give You my soul
I live for You alone
Every breath that I take
Every moment I’m awake
Lord, have Your way in me.

2) You are beautiful beyond description
Too marvelous for words
Too wonderful for comprehension
Like nothing ever seen or heard
Who can grasp Your infinite wisdom
Who can fathom the depths of Your love
You are beautiful beyond description
Majesty, enthroned above

And I stand, I stand in awe of You
I stand, I stand in awe of You
Holy God to whom all praise is due
I stand in awe of You.

My Jesus matters more…

Is it true that after you’ve reached a certain age, your status is something to “worry” about? Single, Attached, or “In the process”? It tickled me to see how concern one can get about me where this issue is concerned. I have left this issue behind my mind for some time now, also leaving it in God’s hands. Like Alvin said, “Leaving this department to God.” But ever so recently Kenji decided to be cheeky and started asking me about how I was progressing. Hmm. Not that I mind. It just shows that he is concerned, heh.

It is something rare for a superior to ask his employee about very personal stuff. Not with Kenji though, haha. He asked, he listened. He teased. He also commented. Very sporting, I would say. Since he asked, I shared with him bits and pieces of what has been happening. Conversations with him about relationship issues has really made me think of my own mentality and standards and what I really wanted as far as such a commitment is concerned. [ooh, I found out that he doesn’t only interrogate me. According to him, his other assistant, Siti, gets “equal treatment” as well. Hmm.] Ok la, interrogate is a wrong word. Let’s just say he is curious :p

No doubt, I cannot avoid this topic forever. People tell me I’ve “got to start somewhere.” But it is easier said than done. Many of my friends have shared their experiences with me, which is really a good eye opener. Being in a relationship requires a lot from both parties and the main question is “Am I ready?” “Is he (whoever he is) ready?” Perhaps I appear to look cool and calm about this whole issue. That is merely because I have decided to “let God be God” and “leave this department to Him.” Quoting my sis and Alvin respectively there, hehe.

For now, my Jesus matters more *winkz*

SICK & TIRED!!

How long will this have to go on? How long more do I have to be working from home, helplessly depending on the streamyx connection to determine my income? I know some older adults would tell me that my blaming the internet connection is a childish act. But you’ve got to be in my position to understand the frustrations when the line faces interruptions. Perhaps my parents have seen me being distracted by mails coming in and friends buzzing me for a chat. But that doesn’t mean I neglect my work altogether. Which is better? Being able to work (that’s if the connection chooses to behave itself), with occasional freedom to do other things or not being able to work at all?

Just when I mentioned about the Reader’s Digest job requiring me to call overseas (here again, I need the streamyx), I’m put into these kind of stress! They need it done fast, but what can I do? The connection was all fine until it started raining and my dad was rushing me to switch the streamyx off. See the trouble? My work is stranded once it starts raining and thundering. I HATE to switch it off because I know this is what I will get after every switching off. Now after four hours, I’m still not connected. Grrgghh!! I’m fed up!! I want something new, something totally unrelated to streamyx.

My mom brought the Tadika Grace issue up again over lunch. I really miss that job. An ideal job like this is what I am looking for. Administrative nature which does not require streamyx, and where distance is not really an issue. Plus I will be in an environment full of children. It brought back memories, good and bad. I wonder what made her bring that up again. Well, of course the bad ones have long been forgotten. It’s more than two years, Mi. As all the memories flooded back in, I wish for a similar job. I am looking into it. If I ever had to make “a big switch” for a similar job, and if it is God’s will to begin with, I am willing. Some “things” got to go in order for new ones to come in.

Passing Time...

1) Sleep with or without clothes on?
With la!! *duh*

2) Prefer black or blue pens?
It doesn’t make my handwriting any different, so I’m fine either way.

3) Like to travel?
Definitely. But then again depends on where the destination would be.

4) Like someone?
Yeap.

5) Does “someone” know?
I think he suspects. But I cant be too sure.

6) Who sleeps with you every night?
My faithful soft toy rabbit. Been with me for 13 yrs now. Who’s the faithful one now? *lol*

7) Think you’re attractive?
A little above average.

8) Want to get married?
Half of me says “yes”, the other half says “I don’t know”.

9) To whom?
To someone who will love me for who I really am.

10) Are you a good student?
Err, yes and no. Haha.

11) Are you currently happy?
Yes and No, haha. Temperamental?

12) Have you been fooled before?
Yes.

13) Coloured or black and white photo?
Coloured. Makes it more “alive.” Whatever that means XD

14) Do long distance relationships work?
It really depends.

15) Do you believe in love at first sight?
Ahah, definitely! [Esther, you know who I’m talkin’ about, don’t you?]

16) Do you consider yourself the life of the party?
Nope, not at all!

17) Have you lied before?
Duh!

18) Do you drink?
Occasionally.

19) Do you make fun of people?
Depending on whether I like you or not. Wahaha XD

20) Do you think dreams eventually come true?
I don’t know. Although I wish all of it will!!

21) Favourite Disney character.
Too many to name. all are just too cute, heehee.

22) Go to the movies or rent?
Movies.

23) Have you ever moved?
Countless times.

24) Last movie you watched.
Err…

25) Last time you went to school.
7 years ago.

26) Loud or soft music?
Soft.

27) Mc D’s or Burger King?
I’m torn between two lovers *lol*

28) Night or day?
Night.

29) Future job.
Kindergarten teacher. Better still the headmistress.

30) Current job.
Something that relates a lot to the phone.

31) Current love?
Mr. xxx *gives a cheeky look*
My bed [it’s the best thing when I am sleep-deprived]

32) Current longing.
More of my Jesus!

33) Current disappointment.
That nothing’s really happening.

34) Current annoyance.
The unstable streamyx connection. Interrupting my work. Grrrggghhh!!

35) Most recent thing you are looking forward to.
“Meeting him” this Sunday *lol*
The next Light House birthday celebration on the 28th.

36) What are you hearing right now?
The many really-hard-to-decipher Australia and U.K. accent each tiem I make that overseas call, haha [working on a new project for Reader’s Digest Malaysia, which requires me to call all the different universities abroad.]

37) Plans for the weekend.
I think I heard something like a steamboat dinner at Yuen Buffet again.

38) What was the most memorable thing you did this week?
Helping out in T.H.E. Carnival that day.
With a lantern in hand, and a group of Light House members, we walk one part of BU neighborhood. [this Light House lantern celebration is an appreciation nite for all who participated in T.H.E. Carnival]

39) Current favourite song.
Come Holy Spirit Fall On Me Now (duno who’s the singer)
Fairy Tale by Guang Liang

40) Pick a favourite TV series quote.
Unless it really stands out to me, I don’t usually remember them.

41) I tag:
Anyone who has time but don’t know how to spend it, haha.

Haih, I guess I’m not that discipline after all. Like I mentioned in No. 36, I am currently working on a new project for Reader’s Digest Malaysia which requires me to call all the different universities abroad to gather some contact information about their uni. For now, it’s Australia and United Kingdom. I have to admit it’s tough, but challenging and fun at the same time. The only thing I find a trouble is to constantly take note of any and all time differences. Ooh, and catching their flowery accent too. Walao!! Thankfully 8 out of 10 are patient enough with me. Some even went the extra mile to spell letter by letter for me. Haha.

With this job, my schedule and time has been all upside down. Australia isn’t all that bad, being only 2 hours ahead of us. I got myself a seperate clock set according to their time and I had to be very careful with my greetings, so that I don’t wish them “Good morning” when it is already into noon time over there, heh. I still make that mistake with Super Pages sometimes, what more this international one where time factor is totally out, haha. The worse is yet to come. This batch that I am doing now is the United Kingdom. 7 hours behind Malaysia, goodness me!! I will need to work until 12 a.m. Malaysian time. So anymore next surprises? Too many jobs la. Pengsan. But then again, I’m paid, so why not *lol*

Ok, their lunch time is up (it’s dinner time for me here), so I’m back to work. See yah!

Backtrack…

We had a family getaway at Genting Highlands last Friday through to Sunday. This time it was something mild. As expected, we didn’t get to the theme parks, just chilling at the hotel. I told myself that I would be taking this opportunity to just relax to the max, so what better thing to do than catch up on my sleep, haha. Such nice and cooling weather. Seriously it was nothing much. I didn’t even have time for pictures, heh. But I manage to zoom in on the highest point from our hotel for a bit.

I had to miss one and a half days of T.H.E Carnival I could have gone for my shift on Sunday afternoon as well, but I promised my kids that I would be there for the closing party of Royal Rangers for this year. One after another, it was a jammed packed day for me, but it’s all for Him *winkz*

anyway, I rushed straight to DUMC after rangers just in time for my slot. Whoa, good business la! Our stall was one of the last few to pack up, imagine. Hehe.

Here comes T.H.E Carnival!!

The following few pics are by Evie. Since I couldn't be there to take them myself, I asked her to help me la, haha :))

His new trademark *lol*

My cell leader & his “superchun” burger, hahaha.

Still with that pose?? Haih :p

Connor's girls a.k.a his "kaki tangan" in contributing to the success of our stall *winkz*

His direct "penolong kanan".

Ooh, wanna see a pastor get "dunked"? Hahaha. Here's Ps Moy How for all :p

Some of my friends had the opportunity of going round “kepoh-ing”, but as I was on duty, I didn’t have that privilege. But it’s alright, I’ll do what is needful and important. Then suddenly, I saw a familiar face, someone with whom I have lost touch for so long. Marie Ann, an ex cell member from the time David Nga was the cell leader, came by to say hi. It was nice to see her there. [tracking back, its been almost a decade since I first joined a cell. Imagine how many cell leaders I have been with & grown up with] Because her boyfriend was a DUMC-ian, that’s why. Speaking of which, it really feels nice to be back in touch with old pals despite our own busy schedules. There’s Joan, there’s Pauline, there’s Jaymee. Hmm. Maybe I could visit them again someday, haha.

My sister's favourite word: Random thought --> seems like quite a number of friends I know “crossed church” as far as their “other half” is concerned, haha. Random conversation between a few of the Light House members:

Member A: Seems like we all crossed ministries to find our partners. He’s from MWM (Music & Worship Ministry), I’m from Dew Crew.

Member B: Yalo, ya lo. Me also. Eh, in fact you also wert (reffering to member C), haha. Own ministry also got but dun want, go over board to the next ministry, heh.

Now, that made me think: If they are talking about “crossing ministries” what have I done? Crossed church? Haha. But of course, I’m not alone, hehe. I know of some others who are in the same situation as well. Hmm. Lets just see how things go.