26th july marks the birth of oy moon’s (my manager) baby girl, natalie yeo khai ning… wai ling and I planned to visit her, but since we cudnt find transport, i decided to ask if anyone from infodata (the company I'm working for) would be visiting her… so, I asked nick (my database administrator) a few days ago, and he buzzed me after lunch yesterday saying that they will be visiting oy moon after work…
So what’s that gotta do with infodata? Well, the initial plan was such that he picks me up after work and head straight for oy moon’s at bangsar… but somehow, change of plans, he got another colleague of his, jesslyn, to pop by since she was out with a client somewhere around my place… I tot we will be heading straight to oy moon’s, but jess said infodata’s office hours was until 1730 and it was only 1530 then… so, yea, at last I got to visit my company, haha… but only got to be at the ground floor, cant go upstairs… so, while waiting, jess gave me some work to do… helping them with some brochures that was to be sent out to customers…
It was because the office was at 1st and 2nd floor, which were a flight of stairs before reaching the elevators, otherwise that was where I would have been working, in a proper, real office, rather than at home, hehe… I very much prefer the office environment, tho…
Anyway, we lost our way and were late to oy moon’s, but thank God we still managed to get there… and oy moon was definitely surprised to see me, hehe… she’d be even more surprised if wai ling came along too… she must be thinking, how did they (3 females and 1 male, who know nuts about handling a wheelchair) manage to get me up the stairs before reaching the elevators… haiyoh, she was on leave, but cudn’t stop asking about all that’s happening in the office… rest, oy moon, rest… hehe… anyway, all that aside, natalie was the main attraction now… o gosh, she’s super adorable… only 3 days old, her head was the size of my palm, haha…
We were very careful not to make too much noise, but then oy moon and her husband were the ones who tried waking that darling up, saying it’s about feeding time, haha… I guess she wasn’t hungry yet, so even when her dad disturbed her, she went back to sleep without a fuss… oy moon joked about her ignoring us and we’re not attractive enuff, haha… when she was finally wide awake, it was nothing else but natalie *winkz*
Ok, sorry, I just dono where this entry is going, haha… but I just cudnt resist that cutie… yea, so anyway… congrats, oy moon *winkz*
Sunday, July 31, 2005
Friday, July 29, 2005
EXCITED... HEHE...
Haha… Have been counting down the days to my friend’s cell retreat at fraser’s hill… ever since the day he invited me to join him, I’m all excited edi… havent gone somewhere for a break on my own for some time liao, so when he mentioned about the retreat, whoa… jumping with excitement di… ok, fine, not jumping (how I wish I could, haha) but I mean, I was really bubbling with joy inside…
So, from that day on, I started counting down day by day… Yea, silly thing to do, but well, can’t help it, ler, hehe… And today, on the 28th, I'm left with 8 more days… then, after dinner, I checked my inbox, and there was the update about the retreat… hehe… and not only was it an update, he also mentioned that one of the volunteer frm camp was invited, and she was confirmed coming along, too… sighing with relief, at least I have someone whom I know, to keep me company *winkz* otherwise, I’d be alone with the rest of them from dumc… hehe…
Well, yea… you can be sure that I'll still be counting down til the day itself… pray that evrything will turn out good… for the glory of His Name, amen? Hope to make some new friends then… til then…
So, from that day on, I started counting down day by day… Yea, silly thing to do, but well, can’t help it, ler, hehe… And today, on the 28th, I'm left with 8 more days… then, after dinner, I checked my inbox, and there was the update about the retreat… hehe… and not only was it an update, he also mentioned that one of the volunteer frm camp was invited, and she was confirmed coming along, too… sighing with relief, at least I have someone whom I know, to keep me company *winkz* otherwise, I’d be alone with the rest of them from dumc… hehe…
Well, yea… you can be sure that I'll still be counting down til the day itself… pray that evrything will turn out good… for the glory of His Name, amen? Hope to make some new friends then… til then…
A TAP INTO THE BEGINNING OF A NEW FRIENDSHIP
Getting to know someone whom I have never known very much about is indeed a very interesting thing to do… Finding out stuff about the other person, knowing them better gets the friendship-ball rolling and further improves the friendship… Well, this time around seems to be an overnight case, hehe… Chatted with a friend frm BG (abraham, better known as abby by BG members) on msn whom I added juz yesterday, which we never really did while at BG…
Really a good time getting to know him… Imagine us being like strangers, never uttered anything extra other than exchange of hi’s and bye’s… And attending BG volunteer meetings together but didn’t really bother greeting each other… Shy, I guess… hehe… but then since he added me on msn, we started chatting and since both of us are english educated, it makes communication very much an easy thing… seems like my friendship was easier brought to a higher level with english speaking friends, hehe… so far, having two of them really makes life more interesting… at least there wont be any worries about communication barrier… I truly struggled with mandarin when I first got to know the inmates there… but with God's help, I did my best, and He definitely helped me with the rest *winkz* so it’s just english for a change, hehe…
Found out that abby was in charge of the comp room, so I get to “see” my “msn kaki” more often now, hehe… he said he’d prefer to be more lenient, since he was given the responsibility of the comp room… so, close friends get to add each other on msn and chatter away, haha… abby himself was a nice person… hey abby, see you diam-diam, malu-malu kucing like that, never knew you can be fun to-chat-with… I do agree that God always work in ways we cannot see, hehe…
There was this time, somewhere in april that we played the “guardian angel” game, and I happened to pick him as my mortal… oh gosh, I don even know a single detail about him… stress liao, what am I supposed to do for him, so-called taking care of him… anyway, yea, still managed to pull through with some simple treat to a drink or something, hehe… (some male friends gave me some tips there, hehe) but well, it was def a good exposure… see, which led to a new lease of friendship… yay, man!! All in all, I was glad that we don’t only click well, but also that a new friendship was formed *winkz* Cheers to abby…
Really a good time getting to know him… Imagine us being like strangers, never uttered anything extra other than exchange of hi’s and bye’s… And attending BG volunteer meetings together but didn’t really bother greeting each other… Shy, I guess… hehe… but then since he added me on msn, we started chatting and since both of us are english educated, it makes communication very much an easy thing… seems like my friendship was easier brought to a higher level with english speaking friends, hehe… so far, having two of them really makes life more interesting… at least there wont be any worries about communication barrier… I truly struggled with mandarin when I first got to know the inmates there… but with God's help, I did my best, and He definitely helped me with the rest *winkz* so it’s just english for a change, hehe…
Found out that abby was in charge of the comp room, so I get to “see” my “msn kaki” more often now, hehe… he said he’d prefer to be more lenient, since he was given the responsibility of the comp room… so, close friends get to add each other on msn and chatter away, haha… abby himself was a nice person… hey abby, see you diam-diam, malu-malu kucing like that, never knew you can be fun to-chat-with… I do agree that God always work in ways we cannot see, hehe…
There was this time, somewhere in april that we played the “guardian angel” game, and I happened to pick him as my mortal… oh gosh, I don even know a single detail about him… stress liao, what am I supposed to do for him, so-called taking care of him… anyway, yea, still managed to pull through with some simple treat to a drink or something, hehe… (some male friends gave me some tips there, hehe) but well, it was def a good exposure… see, which led to a new lease of friendship… yay, man!! All in all, I was glad that we don’t only click well, but also that a new friendship was formed *winkz* Cheers to abby…
Wednesday, July 20, 2005
THE CHRISTIAN ALPHABET
A lthough things are not perfect
B ecause of trial or pain
C ontinue in thanksgiving
D o not begin to blame.
E ven when the times are hard
F ierce winds are bound to blow
G od is forever able
H old on to what you know.
I magine life without His love
J oy would cease to be
K eep thanking
H im for all the things
L ove imparts to thee.
M ove out of "Camp Complaining"
N o weapon that is known
O n earth can yield the power
P raise can do alone.
Q uit looking at the future
R edeem the time at hand
S tart every day with worship
T o "thank" is a command.
U ntil we see Him coming
V ictorious in the sky
W e'll run the race with gratitude
eX alting God most high.
Y es, there will be good times and yes some will be bad, but
Z ion waits in glory, where none are ever sad!
B ecause of trial or pain
C ontinue in thanksgiving
D o not begin to blame.
E ven when the times are hard
F ierce winds are bound to blow
G od is forever able
H old on to what you know.
I magine life without His love
J oy would cease to be
K eep thanking
H im for all the things
L ove imparts to thee.
M ove out of "Camp Complaining"
N o weapon that is known
O n earth can yield the power
P raise can do alone.
Q uit looking at the future
R edeem the time at hand
S tart every day with worship
T o "thank" is a command.
U ntil we see Him coming
V ictorious in the sky
W e'll run the race with gratitude
eX alting God most high.
Y es, there will be good times and yes some will be bad, but
Z ion waits in glory, where none are ever sad!
REMEMBER... NEVER FORGET!!
24 THINGS TO ALWAYS REMEMBER... AND ONE THING TO NEVER FORGET...
your presence is a present to the world.
you're unique and one of a kind.
your life can be what you want it to be.
take the days just one at a time.
count your blessings, not your troubles.
you'll make it through whatever comes along.
within you are so many answers.
understand, have courage, be strong.
don't put limits on yourself.
so many dreams are waiting to be realized.
decisions are too important to leave to chance.
reach for your peak, your goal, and your prize.
nothing wastes more energy than worrying.
the longer one carries a problem, the heavier it gets.
don't take things too seriously.
live a life of serenity, not a life of regrets.
remember that a little love goes a long way.
remember that a lot . . . goes forever.
remember that friendship is a wise investment.
life's treasures are people . . . together.
realize that it's never too late.
do ordinary things in an extraordinary way.
have heath and hope and happiness.
take the time to wish upon a star.
and don't ever forget . . .
for even a day . . .
how very special you are!!
your presence is a present to the world.
you're unique and one of a kind.
your life can be what you want it to be.
take the days just one at a time.
count your blessings, not your troubles.
you'll make it through whatever comes along.
within you are so many answers.
understand, have courage, be strong.
don't put limits on yourself.
so many dreams are waiting to be realized.
decisions are too important to leave to chance.
reach for your peak, your goal, and your prize.
nothing wastes more energy than worrying.
the longer one carries a problem, the heavier it gets.
don't take things too seriously.
live a life of serenity, not a life of regrets.
remember that a little love goes a long way.
remember that a lot . . . goes forever.
remember that friendship is a wise investment.
life's treasures are people . . . together.
realize that it's never too late.
do ordinary things in an extraordinary way.
have heath and hope and happiness.
take the time to wish upon a star.
and don't ever forget . . .
for even a day . . .
how very special you are!!
Monday, July 18, 2005
3-in-1
FRIDAY, 15th = PLEASANT SURPRISE… YAY, MAN!!
Wow, what a way to remember this special day… Talk about suddenly’s & pleasant surprises, hehe… Other than this day being my dad’s burfday (happy burfday, daddy *winkz*), there’s Corinne who CALLED ALL THE WAY FROM CANBERRA!! *hugzz* Wow… Well, it’s sooo good to hear her voice again after so long, haha… Chatted for quite a while… Talked about some certain stuff that I emailed her yesterday, and I gotta admit that I was actually letting out on her… Sorry, dear, but I just cudnt tahan that particular incident!! Grrghh, that person really stretched me to my maximum limits man… I agree with you that she’s super possessive kuasa dua (now where did that come from? haha) Ever since I knew her, it has been that way, just that I wasn’t too bothered about it… But somehow the whole condition deteriorated!! But thank God you were there to “hear” me out, haha… So, we quarreled today… I mean this particular friend (you know who I mean) and I… Just after I hung up the phone with you, she called me (she was already buzzing me on msn and missed calling me on my mobile, accusing that I was avoiding her… “How come I couldn’t get through the phone? Do you know that I have some urgent stuff to talk to you about what our boss said to us in the msn just now?” Yeah, right? How urgent can it get? Pleeasse, gimme a break, will ya? So when I said I was on the phone with a friend from overseas, she said, “You lied!! Otherwise, why would you be able to reply the msn when boss msg-ed us?” Wah liao, what the crap??!! Come on, man, seriously... Gimme a break lar, ok? Everyone has the right for personal spaces... Haiyoh... Anyway, let’s not bring up that sickening topic, k?
Anyway, bringing my attention back to Ms. Corinne M. Y. Kong, I recalled the times when you were still back here in Malaysia… Whoa, at the rate we were chatting, the phone bills have definitely shot up… But it was all great fun to know that after each phone call, we got to know a lil more about each other, and with that our friendship is brought to another level… Also remembered those times when we hung out at One U, just chilling and updating each other about the happenings in each other’s lives… Whoa, you could really dig the stories out of me, heh *winkz* The greater satisfaction is to know that we could chat about anything at all, and be rest assured that it will only be between both of us, no “intruders” allowed, haha…
Just four days ago, I was talking about a having a best friend from the opposite gender, and today it’s gurl’s stuff, yay!! GURLFRIENDS RAWK, man!! It’s really cool to know that you could get along well with someone, even more interesting, and challenging when both parties are from different character background and yet still manage to click pretty well… Imagine one being the talker and the other one the listener (we definitely make a good pair, right? ahem ahem!!) Rather than both the talker, which will end up a havoc… Haha, just crapping… Or both the listener, which means there won’t be anyone talking… Whoa, how can that be? Terrible!! It’s either gonna be super noisy or super quiet, hehe… Oh yea, I'll definitely be keeping you in my prayers about that certain desire of yours…
Well anyway, all in all, today’s a great day (I won’t let such a lil quarrel ruin my wonderful, memorable and meaningful day)… Thank You, Lord for granting me with friends whom I can count on for encouragements and support all through… Amen!!
SATURDAY, 16th = OUT THE WHOLE DAY, HAHA…
Had a picnic today with my Ranger Kids cuties *winkz* Theme’s Teddy Bear… Though I did not participate much in the activities, it’s really fun even to just watch… Cool, the best part was the Telematch, hehe… The kids were divided evenly into color groups, namely BLUE, BROWN, PURPLE, BLACK & RED… Each of the commanders was supposed to be in charge of one group, and mine was purple… Like I said, it was a telematch and so they were competing hard for the points, and mainly to win, haha… It was really close, between PURPLE & err, BLACK I think (if I'm not mistaken, it was Lee Yen’s group were we competing against)… on a side note, juz another pic i cudnt resist but post it up ere, aha!!
All in all, we had a really great time… One thing’s for sure: the Lord is gracious!! He provided us with good weather all the way, no rain, and not too hot as well… Yeah, man!!
Later in the evening
The members of BG were invited for an annual dinner (invitation by Ps. Tan from Zoë’s Fellowship) To me, it sounds something like an NECF gathering, where Christians from different homes and organizations come together for a time of sharing and fellowship… The “Zoë’s Fellowship 6th Compassionate Dinner” was held at Restaurant Taman Rashna, in Klang... first was a time of worship followed by songs and presentations by members from various homes… Here again the worship songs truly ministered deeply to me, particularly Jesus, Lover of My Soul, which clearly states that only Him and Him alone will be the Lover of my soul… He shall be the only firm foundation on which I set my focus, holding on and never letting go of Him… eventho the whole world will fall behind me, no matter what happens, my comfort and assurance of knowing that everything will work out for the good of those who trust and believes in Him…
BG PJ (which was represented by three OKU’s) performed a wheelchair dance, with background music God Is In the House from my favourite band, Hillsongs, yay!! *pics still in the process*
We also had a guest speaker, Rev Wong Kim Kong who spoke on How to Deal with Our Physical & Emotional Scars (since it was a gathering of PWD’s… there were volunteers as well – we needed them to bring us there anyway, hehe – so, to them it’s not so much the physical but the emotional side)… He was also a PWD himself, so he was indeed speaking through experience… To PWD’s, a scar would probably mean the existence and/or damage done by the disabilities in our lives… And for some of us, these scars would only be temporary, whereas to some others, it would probably be a life-long thing… Even so, are we able to look at it as a tool to reach out to others, instead of taking it negatively? Do we blame God for what has happened, or do we look at it at the brighter side, and as a challenge that eventho the disability is there, we could still go on serving the Lord in our own special ways?
Referring to Isaiah 52:13-15, “See, my servant will prosper; he will be highly exalted. Many were amazed when they saw him – beaten and bloodied, so disfigured one could scarcely know he was a person. And he will again startle many nations. Kings will stand speechless in his presence. For they will see what they had not previously been told about; they will understand what they had not heard about.”
It all depends on our mindset and the way we look at situations… Whether we’d take it positively and fight the journey of life til the end, or let the negative effects of the disabilities take it’s toll on us… So, it was his challenge to us that we stand up for ourselves despite the disabilities!! I guess it has truly made us realize the importance of making a difference in our own differences, haha… Praise the Lord for such a fruitful night, rather than spending time at a place where I wudnt have gained such wonderful encouragements (was actually supposed to attend a house warming party at someone’s place, but since a conflict has occurred between us, there’s no point showing up, which would only ruin the whole atmosphere)…
Looking forward to the same annual gathering again next year, haha…
Wow, what a way to remember this special day… Talk about suddenly’s & pleasant surprises, hehe… Other than this day being my dad’s burfday (happy burfday, daddy *winkz*), there’s Corinne who CALLED ALL THE WAY FROM CANBERRA!! *hugzz* Wow… Well, it’s sooo good to hear her voice again after so long, haha… Chatted for quite a while… Talked about some certain stuff that I emailed her yesterday, and I gotta admit that I was actually letting out on her… Sorry, dear, but I just cudnt tahan that particular incident!! Grrghh, that person really stretched me to my maximum limits man… I agree with you that she’s super possessive kuasa dua (now where did that come from? haha) Ever since I knew her, it has been that way, just that I wasn’t too bothered about it… But somehow the whole condition deteriorated!! But thank God you were there to “hear” me out, haha… So, we quarreled today… I mean this particular friend (you know who I mean) and I… Just after I hung up the phone with you, she called me (she was already buzzing me on msn and missed calling me on my mobile, accusing that I was avoiding her… “How come I couldn’t get through the phone? Do you know that I have some urgent stuff to talk to you about what our boss said to us in the msn just now?” Yeah, right? How urgent can it get? Pleeasse, gimme a break, will ya? So when I said I was on the phone with a friend from overseas, she said, “You lied!! Otherwise, why would you be able to reply the msn when boss msg-ed us?” Wah liao, what the crap??!! Come on, man, seriously... Gimme a break lar, ok? Everyone has the right for personal spaces... Haiyoh... Anyway, let’s not bring up that sickening topic, k?
Anyway, bringing my attention back to Ms. Corinne M. Y. Kong, I recalled the times when you were still back here in Malaysia… Whoa, at the rate we were chatting, the phone bills have definitely shot up… But it was all great fun to know that after each phone call, we got to know a lil more about each other, and with that our friendship is brought to another level… Also remembered those times when we hung out at One U, just chilling and updating each other about the happenings in each other’s lives… Whoa, you could really dig the stories out of me, heh *winkz* The greater satisfaction is to know that we could chat about anything at all, and be rest assured that it will only be between both of us, no “intruders” allowed, haha…
Just four days ago, I was talking about a having a best friend from the opposite gender, and today it’s gurl’s stuff, yay!! GURLFRIENDS RAWK, man!! It’s really cool to know that you could get along well with someone, even more interesting, and challenging when both parties are from different character background and yet still manage to click pretty well… Imagine one being the talker and the other one the listener (we definitely make a good pair, right? ahem ahem!!) Rather than both the talker, which will end up a havoc… Haha, just crapping… Or both the listener, which means there won’t be anyone talking… Whoa, how can that be? Terrible!! It’s either gonna be super noisy or super quiet, hehe… Oh yea, I'll definitely be keeping you in my prayers about that certain desire of yours…
Well anyway, all in all, today’s a great day (I won’t let such a lil quarrel ruin my wonderful, memorable and meaningful day)… Thank You, Lord for granting me with friends whom I can count on for encouragements and support all through… Amen!!
SATURDAY, 16th = OUT THE WHOLE DAY, HAHA…
Had a picnic today with my Ranger Kids cuties *winkz* Theme’s Teddy Bear… Though I did not participate much in the activities, it’s really fun even to just watch… Cool, the best part was the Telematch, hehe… The kids were divided evenly into color groups, namely BLUE, BROWN, PURPLE, BLACK & RED… Each of the commanders was supposed to be in charge of one group, and mine was purple… Like I said, it was a telematch and so they were competing hard for the points, and mainly to win, haha… It was really close, between PURPLE & err, BLACK I think (if I'm not mistaken, it was Lee Yen’s group were we competing against)… on a side note, juz another pic i cudnt resist but post it up ere, aha!!
Ended up to be a tie, so we were to compete for another round to decide the winner… Seeing that they were already on the losing team, they looked like they kinda gave up… No, I'm definitely not gonna let them go back disappointed, so I just cheered them on, gave them a lil pep talk, and reminding them of the Ranger’s Motto… To be “ready for anything”… they looked semangat a bit, after that little encouragement, and I could see the kids were trying their best to compete for that last point…
PURPLE BEAR (and the other team as well) consist of rangers from different age groups, and so I could see that when one member of the group (esp those from ranger kids) was playing their part, the rest of them were fully showing their support by cheering the participants’ names… see, even kids know how to be sporting and supportive… so, never underestimate them, those smart fellas, hehe… *pics still in the process*
Then came the awaited moment – the COA (council of achievement)… Senior commander announced their names and they each went out to receive their awards, proudly witnessed by their parents… Speaking of parents, we also had a great time getting to know them and chatting about the progress of their child (in every aspects of their lives – mental, emotional and spiritual)…
Oh ya… Forgot that there were a few pics taken with the Chin (uncle peter) family & Lee (auntie deanna) family... all of whom are pretty and handsome people, hehe…
All in all, we had a really great time… One thing’s for sure: the Lord is gracious!! He provided us with good weather all the way, no rain, and not too hot as well… Yeah, man!!
Later in the evening
The members of BG were invited for an annual dinner (invitation by Ps. Tan from Zoë’s Fellowship) To me, it sounds something like an NECF gathering, where Christians from different homes and organizations come together for a time of sharing and fellowship… The “Zoë’s Fellowship 6th Compassionate Dinner” was held at Restaurant Taman Rashna, in Klang... first was a time of worship followed by songs and presentations by members from various homes… Here again the worship songs truly ministered deeply to me, particularly Jesus, Lover of My Soul, which clearly states that only Him and Him alone will be the Lover of my soul… He shall be the only firm foundation on which I set my focus, holding on and never letting go of Him… eventho the whole world will fall behind me, no matter what happens, my comfort and assurance of knowing that everything will work out for the good of those who trust and believes in Him…
BG PJ (which was represented by three OKU’s) performed a wheelchair dance, with background music God Is In the House from my favourite band, Hillsongs, yay!! *pics still in the process*
We also had a guest speaker, Rev Wong Kim Kong who spoke on How to Deal with Our Physical & Emotional Scars (since it was a gathering of PWD’s… there were volunteers as well – we needed them to bring us there anyway, hehe – so, to them it’s not so much the physical but the emotional side)… He was also a PWD himself, so he was indeed speaking through experience… To PWD’s, a scar would probably mean the existence and/or damage done by the disabilities in our lives… And for some of us, these scars would only be temporary, whereas to some others, it would probably be a life-long thing… Even so, are we able to look at it as a tool to reach out to others, instead of taking it negatively? Do we blame God for what has happened, or do we look at it at the brighter side, and as a challenge that eventho the disability is there, we could still go on serving the Lord in our own special ways?
Referring to Isaiah 52:13-15, “See, my servant will prosper; he will be highly exalted. Many were amazed when they saw him – beaten and bloodied, so disfigured one could scarcely know he was a person. And he will again startle many nations. Kings will stand speechless in his presence. For they will see what they had not previously been told about; they will understand what they had not heard about.”
It all depends on our mindset and the way we look at situations… Whether we’d take it positively and fight the journey of life til the end, or let the negative effects of the disabilities take it’s toll on us… So, it was his challenge to us that we stand up for ourselves despite the disabilities!! I guess it has truly made us realize the importance of making a difference in our own differences, haha… Praise the Lord for such a fruitful night, rather than spending time at a place where I wudnt have gained such wonderful encouragements (was actually supposed to attend a house warming party at someone’s place, but since a conflict has occurred between us, there’s no point showing up, which would only ruin the whole atmosphere)…
Looking forward to the same annual gathering again next year, haha…
Wednesday, July 13, 2005
TIME OUT WITH THE ANGELS… HAVN’T DONE THIS FOR A LONG TIME…
(This is 3 days overdue ><)
It has been ages since I’ve watched a movie in the cinemas (don’t really have the time, got other better things to do)… Having heard that BG is organizing one of such sort (heard that HATI.org came up with this movie idea in order for the “angels” to finish up whatever remaining hours they still have in order to gain their “full wings”), I went along… But this time around, it was at the outdoor one, instead of the usual cinema… More convenient, if you asked me… Enjoyed myself to the fullest (especially when I found out my hopes about certain stuff have been granted, hehe… I was actually setting hopes about something, and was glad that it came to reality anyway…) Well, since I'm out to enjoy, I just cudnt help it but go all out and do things without having the thought about how it would be a trouble to the people around and stuff… Besides, they (the volunteers) were very willing to help, and didn’t mind the trouble at all… One of them told me, “To us, there’s no such word as ‘trouble’ in our dictionary, it’s only whether we’re willing or not… And the fact that we’d actually signed up for the camp, means that we’re ready to go all out…” So, the wild side of Elaine has been revealed, haha… We had a camp in early April where able-bodied (we call them volunteers) and disabled came together for a fun time of sharing and getting to know each other… The purpose of the camp was firstly to get the disabled to come forth, to participate and be more open and involved rather than being passive and shying away into our “shells”… And not forgetting to also spread the message that people with disabilities (PWD) could also do things abled-bodied can… A few examples are such that we could still help out in daily chores, still go out to work, have fun in the outdoors etc… But the MAIN objective of the camp is to instill the message of unity and break the mindset of discrimination towards the less fortunate (now when I say the less fortunate, it not only refers to the PWD’s, but also the poor and the orphans)…
It has been ages since I’ve watched a movie in the cinemas (don’t really have the time, got other better things to do)… Having heard that BG is organizing one of such sort (heard that HATI.org came up with this movie idea in order for the “angels” to finish up whatever remaining hours they still have in order to gain their “full wings”), I went along… But this time around, it was at the outdoor one, instead of the usual cinema… More convenient, if you asked me… Enjoyed myself to the fullest (especially when I found out my hopes about certain stuff have been granted, hehe… I was actually setting hopes about something, and was glad that it came to reality anyway…) Well, since I'm out to enjoy, I just cudnt help it but go all out and do things without having the thought about how it would be a trouble to the people around and stuff… Besides, they (the volunteers) were very willing to help, and didn’t mind the trouble at all… One of them told me, “To us, there’s no such word as ‘trouble’ in our dictionary, it’s only whether we’re willing or not… And the fact that we’d actually signed up for the camp, means that we’re ready to go all out…” So, the wild side of Elaine has been revealed, haha… We had a camp in early April where able-bodied (we call them volunteers) and disabled came together for a fun time of sharing and getting to know each other… The purpose of the camp was firstly to get the disabled to come forth, to participate and be more open and involved rather than being passive and shying away into our “shells”… And not forgetting to also spread the message that people with disabilities (PWD) could also do things abled-bodied can… A few examples are such that we could still help out in daily chores, still go out to work, have fun in the outdoors etc… But the MAIN objective of the camp is to instill the message of unity and break the mindset of discrimination towards the less fortunate (now when I say the less fortunate, it not only refers to the PWD’s, but also the poor and the orphans)…
With that, one friend commented that I have truly changed a lot compared to the time when I initially set foot in BG… Got feedback from them about me saying that I have changed from being the very quiet, withdrawn person to a now more outspoken person, in fact very talkative, having an extra boost of boldness to just be natural and start doing things that I love doing, mainly just being my true self… Well, I could probably agree to that particular statement, haha… Seems like you’re getting to know me well, Chu… *winkz*
One thing I know is that I feel really thankful and appreciative of those volunteers who actually took time off just to spent quality hours with us, not only on the movie day, but also times when we’d actually personally ring them up for a lil help… Not that we’re deprived of attention, don’t get me wrong, but just to see your willingness, hmmm, wonderful!! Definitely wanna acknowledge them for all the hard work and effort they’ve put in to help the PWD’s and the less fortunate ones… And the fact that they were even willing to take half day leave off from work, just to offer their service to BG (referring to the launching at YB Dato’ Dr. Ng Yen Yen’s office) really makes it more worthwhile, heheh…
Many of us were more open to each other, because of the lessons that we learnt about one another during the camp (the able-bodied to the PWD’s and vice versa)… For example, the expectations from the PWD’s towards the volunteers, and it’s not surprising for them to have expectations from us as well… Volunteer 1: I hope that PWD’s don’t take us for granted and expect us to know what is it that you want without opening up and telling us specifically about your requests… We are also your friend, so don’t think that we’re unfriendly people and therefore let you have the mindset that it will be difficult for you to approach us for help, that’s totally wrong!! Volunteer 2: Most of the time, it’s not that we are sombong and don’t wanna start a conversation with you, but just that, we’re afraid the things that we say or touch on happens to be some sensitive issue to you all… Then and there, they got our approval that it is actually alright for them to ask… And if it is really personal and sensitive issues to us, we’d let them know… (At least I won’t be offended by you asking all those questions… It’s like, I’ve been answering these questions for the past 18 years of my life, so what’s the big deal?)
It was indeed a wonderful camp and I would say the whole camp was a success!! At the end of the day, hearts were joined, friendships were formed… Thanx to the organizing committee (you know who you are, hehe), we now have new friendships to thank God for… GO ANGELS!!
Wednesday, July 06, 2005
THE 4 WIVES
There was a rich merchant who had 4 wives.
4th wife – He loved the 4th wife the most. He adorned her with rich robes and treated her to delicacies.
3rd wife – He also loved the 3rd wife very much. He’s very proud of her and always wanted to show her off to his friends. However, the merchant is always in great fear that she might run away with other men.
2nd wife – He loved his 2nd wife, too. She’s a very considerate person, always patient, and in fact is the merchant’s confidant. Whenever the merchant faced some problems, he always turned to his 2nd wife, and she would always help him out and tide him through difficult times.
1st wife – Now the merchant’s 1st wife is a very loyal partner and has made great contributions in maintaining his wealth and business as well as taking care of the household. However the merchant did not love his 1st wife and although she loved him deeply, he hardly took notice of her.
One day, the merchant fell ill. Before long, he knew that he was gonna die soon. thought of his luxurious life and told himself, "Now I have 4 wives with me. But when I die, I'll be alone. How lonely I'll be!"
Thus, he asked the 4th wife, "I loved you most, endowed you with the finest clothing and showered great care over you. Now that I'm dying, will you follow me and keep me company?" "No way!" replied the 4th wife and she walked away without another word. The answer cut like a sharp knife right into the merchant's heart.
The sad merchant then asked the 3rd wife, "I have loved you so much for all my life. Now that I'm dying, will you follow me and keep me company?" "No!" replied the 3rd wife. "Life is so good over here! I'm going to remarry when you die!" The merchant's heart sank and turned cold.
He then asked the 2nd wife, "I always turned to you for help and you've always helped me out. Now I need your help again. When I die, will you follow me and keep me company?" "I'm sorry, I can't help you out this time!" replied the 2nd wife. "At the very most, I can only send you to your grave." The answer came like a bolt of thunder and the merchant was devastated.
Then a voice called out: "I'll leave with you. I'll follow you no matter where you go." The merchant looked up and there was his 1st wife. She was so skinny, almost like she suffered from malnutrition. Greatly grieved, the merchant said, "I should have taken much better care of you while I could have!”
Actually we all have 4 wives in our lives…
The 4th wife is our body. No matter how much time and effort we lavish in making it look good, it'll leave us when we die.
The 3rd wife is our possession, status and wealth. When we die, they all go to others.
The 2nd wife is our family and friends. No matter how close they had been there for us when we're alive, the furthest they can stay by us is up to the grave when we die, they all go to others.
The 1st wife. Something you can’t see is in fact our soul. Often neglected in our pursuit of material wealth and sensual pleasure. It is actually the only thing that follows us wherever we go. Perhaps it's a good idea to cultivate and strengthen it now rather than to wait until we're on our deathbed to lament.
4th wife – He loved the 4th wife the most. He adorned her with rich robes and treated her to delicacies.
3rd wife – He also loved the 3rd wife very much. He’s very proud of her and always wanted to show her off to his friends. However, the merchant is always in great fear that she might run away with other men.
2nd wife – He loved his 2nd wife, too. She’s a very considerate person, always patient, and in fact is the merchant’s confidant. Whenever the merchant faced some problems, he always turned to his 2nd wife, and she would always help him out and tide him through difficult times.
1st wife – Now the merchant’s 1st wife is a very loyal partner and has made great contributions in maintaining his wealth and business as well as taking care of the household. However the merchant did not love his 1st wife and although she loved him deeply, he hardly took notice of her.
One day, the merchant fell ill. Before long, he knew that he was gonna die soon. thought of his luxurious life and told himself, "Now I have 4 wives with me. But when I die, I'll be alone. How lonely I'll be!"
Thus, he asked the 4th wife, "I loved you most, endowed you with the finest clothing and showered great care over you. Now that I'm dying, will you follow me and keep me company?" "No way!" replied the 4th wife and she walked away without another word. The answer cut like a sharp knife right into the merchant's heart.
The sad merchant then asked the 3rd wife, "I have loved you so much for all my life. Now that I'm dying, will you follow me and keep me company?" "No!" replied the 3rd wife. "Life is so good over here! I'm going to remarry when you die!" The merchant's heart sank and turned cold.
He then asked the 2nd wife, "I always turned to you for help and you've always helped me out. Now I need your help again. When I die, will you follow me and keep me company?" "I'm sorry, I can't help you out this time!" replied the 2nd wife. "At the very most, I can only send you to your grave." The answer came like a bolt of thunder and the merchant was devastated.
Then a voice called out: "I'll leave with you. I'll follow you no matter where you go." The merchant looked up and there was his 1st wife. She was so skinny, almost like she suffered from malnutrition. Greatly grieved, the merchant said, "I should have taken much better care of you while I could have!”
Actually we all have 4 wives in our lives…
The 4th wife is our body. No matter how much time and effort we lavish in making it look good, it'll leave us when we die.
The 3rd wife is our possession, status and wealth. When we die, they all go to others.
The 2nd wife is our family and friends. No matter how close they had been there for us when we're alive, the furthest they can stay by us is up to the grave when we die, they all go to others.
The 1st wife. Something you can’t see is in fact our soul. Often neglected in our pursuit of material wealth and sensual pleasure. It is actually the only thing that follows us wherever we go. Perhaps it's a good idea to cultivate and strengthen it now rather than to wait until we're on our deathbed to lament.
THRU A CHILD'S EYES (THE MEANING OF LOVE)
Slow down for three minutes to read this. It is so worth it. Touching words from the mouth of babes. What does LOVE mean? A group of professional people posed this question to a group of 4 to 8 year-olds, "What does love mean?" The answers they got were broader and deeper than anyone could have imagined. See what you think:
"When my grandmother got arthritis, she couldn't bend over and paint her toenails anymore. So my grandfather does it for her all the time, even when his hands got arthritis too. That's love." Rebecca- age 8
"When someone loves you, the way they say your name is different. You just know that your name is safe in their mouth." Billy - age 4
"Love is when a girl puts on perfume and a boy puts on shaving cologne and they go out and smell each other." Karl - age 5
"Love is when you go out to eat and give somebody most of your French fries without making them give you any of theirs." Chrissy - age 6
"Love is what makes you smile when you're tired." Terri - age 4
"Love is when my mommy makes coffee for my daddy and she takes a sip before giving it to him, to make sure the taste is OK." Danny - age 7
"Love is when you kiss all the time. Then when you get tired of kissing, you still want to be together and you talk more. My Mommy and Daddy are like that. They look gross when they kiss" Emily - age 8
"Love is what's in the room with you at Christmas if you stop opening presents and listen." Bobby - age 7 (Wow!)
"If you want to learn to love better, you should start with a friend who you hate," Nikka - age 6 (we need a few million more Nikka's on this planet)
"Love is when you tell a guy you like his shirt, then he wears it everyday." Noelle - age 7
"Love is like a little old woman and a little old man who are still friends even after they know each other so well." Tommy - age 6
"During my piano recital, I was on a stage and I was scared. I looked at all the people watching me and saw my daddy waving and smiling. He was the only one doing that. I wasn't scared anymore." Cindy - age 8
"My mommy loves me more than anybody . You don't see anyone else kissing me to sleep at night." Clare - age 6
"Love is when Mommy gives Daddy the best piece of chicken." Elaine - age 5
"Love is when Mommy sees Daddy smelly and sweaty and still says he is handsomer than Robert Redford." Chris - age 7
"Love is when your puppy licks your face even after you left him alone all day." Mary Ann - age 4
"I know my older sister loves me because she gives me all her old clothes and has to go out and buy new ones." Lauren - age 4
"When you love somebody, your eyelashes go up and down and little stars come out of you." (what an image) Karen - age 7
"Love is when Mommy sees Daddy on the toilet and she doesn't think it's gross." Mark - age 6
"You really shouldn't say 'I love you' unless you mean it. But if you mean it, you should say it a lot. People forget." Jessica - age 8
And the final one - Author and lecturer Leo Buscaglia once talked about a contest he was asked to judge. The purpose of the contest was to find the most caring child. The winner was :
a four year old child whose next door neighbor was an elderly gentleman who had recently lost his wife. Upon seeing the man cry, the little boy went into the old gentleman's yard, climbed onto his lap, and just sat there. When his Mother asked what he had said to the neighbor, the little boy said, "Nothing, I just helped him cry"
When there is nothing left but God, that is when you find out that God is all you need.
"When my grandmother got arthritis, she couldn't bend over and paint her toenails anymore. So my grandfather does it for her all the time, even when his hands got arthritis too. That's love." Rebecca- age 8
"When someone loves you, the way they say your name is different. You just know that your name is safe in their mouth." Billy - age 4
"Love is when a girl puts on perfume and a boy puts on shaving cologne and they go out and smell each other." Karl - age 5
"Love is when you go out to eat and give somebody most of your French fries without making them give you any of theirs." Chrissy - age 6
"Love is what makes you smile when you're tired." Terri - age 4
"Love is when my mommy makes coffee for my daddy and she takes a sip before giving it to him, to make sure the taste is OK." Danny - age 7
"Love is when you kiss all the time. Then when you get tired of kissing, you still want to be together and you talk more. My Mommy and Daddy are like that. They look gross when they kiss" Emily - age 8
"Love is what's in the room with you at Christmas if you stop opening presents and listen." Bobby - age 7 (Wow!)
"If you want to learn to love better, you should start with a friend who you hate," Nikka - age 6 (we need a few million more Nikka's on this planet)
"Love is when you tell a guy you like his shirt, then he wears it everyday." Noelle - age 7
"Love is like a little old woman and a little old man who are still friends even after they know each other so well." Tommy - age 6
"During my piano recital, I was on a stage and I was scared. I looked at all the people watching me and saw my daddy waving and smiling. He was the only one doing that. I wasn't scared anymore." Cindy - age 8
"My mommy loves me more than anybody . You don't see anyone else kissing me to sleep at night." Clare - age 6
"Love is when Mommy gives Daddy the best piece of chicken." Elaine - age 5
"Love is when Mommy sees Daddy smelly and sweaty and still says he is handsomer than Robert Redford." Chris - age 7
"Love is when your puppy licks your face even after you left him alone all day." Mary Ann - age 4
"I know my older sister loves me because she gives me all her old clothes and has to go out and buy new ones." Lauren - age 4
"When you love somebody, your eyelashes go up and down and little stars come out of you." (what an image) Karen - age 7
"Love is when Mommy sees Daddy on the toilet and she doesn't think it's gross." Mark - age 6
"You really shouldn't say 'I love you' unless you mean it. But if you mean it, you should say it a lot. People forget." Jessica - age 8
And the final one - Author and lecturer Leo Buscaglia once talked about a contest he was asked to judge. The purpose of the contest was to find the most caring child. The winner was :
a four year old child whose next door neighbor was an elderly gentleman who had recently lost his wife. Upon seeing the man cry, the little boy went into the old gentleman's yard, climbed onto his lap, and just sat there. When his Mother asked what he had said to the neighbor, the little boy said, "Nothing, I just helped him cry"
When there is nothing left but God, that is when you find out that God is all you need.
Tuesday, July 05, 2005
LADY IN WAITING by debby jones & jackie kendall
Chapter 9: Lady of Conviction
- Damaged Goods
After becoming a Christian, Jackie found herself ashamed of her lack of a proper upbringing. She says this:
“I knew I had been forgiven for the past, but I often wrestled with the feelings of being damaged goods. I found myself envying other girls who were from godly homes and great heritages, spiritually. Whenever I would be introduced to a wonderful Christian guy, I would immediately think, ‘I'm not good enuff.’
This was exactly how I felt when I first met my husband. He had asked Jesus to take control of his life at the young age of 11. He went to church faithfully; he never smoked, drank or fooled around sexually. His high standards were very intimidating to me. Throughout the years of our friendship, I knew he would never date me because of my imperfect past and ungodly family.
After becoming a Christian, Jackie found herself ashamed of her lack of a proper upbringing. She says this:
“I knew I had been forgiven for the past, but I often wrestled with the feelings of being damaged goods. I found myself envying other girls who were from godly homes and great heritages, spiritually. Whenever I would be introduced to a wonderful Christian guy, I would immediately think, ‘I'm not good enuff.’
This was exactly how I felt when I first met my husband. He had asked Jesus to take control of his life at the young age of 11. He went to church faithfully; he never smoked, drank or fooled around sexually. His high standards were very intimidating to me. Throughout the years of our friendship, I knew he would never date me because of my imperfect past and ungodly family.
Was I in for a surprise! As I continued to make choices to break the ungodly influences of my past, the Lord was working on bringing Ken and me together as a team for His glory. Like David I thought, ‘Who am I, o Sovereign Lord, and what is my family, that You have brought me this far?’ (2 Sam 7:18b)
Ungodly cycles can be broken. Your destiny is not something that is left to chance for fate; it is the product of wise choices.
Ungodly cycles can be broken. Your destiny is not something that is left to chance for fate; it is the product of wise choices.
- Standard Bearer
May we go back to the basics for just a moment? What is a conviction and how does one develop biblical convictions? A conviction is a standard that serves as a springboard for your choices. Consider where your standards, in the area of relating and dating, originated. Are your standards based more on Hollywood’s terms of love and romance, or have you allowed God's Holy Word to shape your perspective?
The Lady of Conviction gives the Lord permission to renew her mind on a daily basis. She spends time searching the Word of God for standards that will guide her safely to God's best. She has made a significant choice as godly woman. She has surrendered her mind to a new persuasion: God's perspective on love and romance. The convictions that she establishes, based on the Word, allow her to resist being squeezed into the mold of this world. She is a non-conformist in a biblical sense, as in Romans 12:2 which says, “Do not conform any longer to the patterns of this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind. Then you will be able to test and approve what God's will is – His good, pleasing and perfect will.”
- Avoiding Bozos
What is a Bozo? A Bozo is a guy whose outward appearance is a façade. It is hard to discern who he really is becoz of the “makeup and costume” he wears. What he appears to be physically, socially and even spiritually is just a performance. A Bozo is a counterfeit of a Boaz. Your standards and convictions will help you recognize the difference. The remaining of this chapter will accentuate the genuine Boaz. Concentrating on the real thing will make the Bozos more apparent.
Clear standards for dating and relating will guard you against compromise and making wrong choices out of sudden emotion rather than a God-directed will. These guidelines for your dating friendships will keep God as your focus rather than allowing the guy to become the focus (idol). To guard you against haphazard meetings or just the “WF’s” (weird feelings) in your heart, you need standards for which you will be accountable. Once you have set dating standards and understand the significance of a constant motive check, (daily bringing the flutters in your heart to the Lord), you are ready to consider other guidelines for successful dating and relating.
- The Man-Worth-Waiting-For
How would you describe the ideal man? Before considering the specific qualities found in a Boaz, one should deal with certain physical stereotypes. Whether you have been looking for a guy who is a bronzed, blue-eyed blonde (“BBB”) or is tall, dark and handsome (“TDH”), you need to surrender your desires to the Lord. You wanna marry someone for the qualities he possesses now, not for the qualities you hope he will develop. The most common mistake made by marriage partners is marrying someone they intend to change. A single woman can sidestep a lifetime of tragedy by seriously considering these characteristics in a prospective steady date.
· Puts the needs of others ahead of his own. This man accepts people just the way they are, loving others even when his love is not returned. He will continue to love someone because of his commitment to that person, not because of how he feels. (Phil 2:3 – 4)
· Rejoices in his relationship with Christ. You don’t have to ask this man if he is a Christian. His joy in the Lord is evident in his life. (Jn 15:11)
· Maintains proper relationships. This man seeks a good relationship with everyone – from his friends to his parents. He listens to differing perspectives without feeling threatened. He has the strength to back of from a fight. He works to forgive wrongs done to him and seeks to make his own offenses right. He will not hold a grudge. (Heb 12:14)
· Refuses to jump ahead of God's timing. He is not so eager to become someone, do something or have something that he cannot wait on God's timing. He chooses against impulsiveness so he may be in the exact center of God's will. (Ps 37:7)
· Seeks to meet the practical needs of others. He is not so self-absorbed that he cannot make time for the needy. He is interested in the welfare of others and is willing to give his time, money and energy for their benefit. (Eph 4:32)
· Stands for what is right. He hates anything contrary to God's Holy character. He is known as a man of integrity by those with whom he works. (Rom 2:9 – 10)
· Follows through on his God-given responsibilities. He uses the talents God has given him and realizes that “he + Jesus = adequacy for any God-given job.” He is neither over-confident nor absorbed with feelings of inferiority. He is not a dreamer, wishing for more ability, but a diligent stewards of the talents he has been given. This man is dependable and stays with even a difficult task until it is completed. (1 Cor 4:2)
· Understands the importance of feelings & emotions. Some women may find themselves attracted to a demanding man assuming that his dominance will be their security. Others may marry a doormat they can dominate, but inevitably end up despising the man’s weakness. A gentle man is the best of both; he takes the initiative to lead, but tempers it with gentle responses toward the other’s feelings. (Col 3:12)
· Flees temptations to compromise. This man refuses to be in situations that are sensual, immoral, or impure. He does not entertain friendships that lead to drunkenness or carousing. He avoids talk that could cause str9ife or jealousy. This man does not allow a temper to control him or anger to destroy him. (Pro 25:28)
These qualities are not unrealistic ideals. When a man follows Jesus, the Holy Spirit works these into his life. In fact, you can read this list again and match the fruit of the Spirit with the appropriate characteristics. A man of God is one who works toward being conformed to the character of Christ. But be careful when a quality of God's Spirit is completely missing in a man’s life and he is unwilling to deal with it before marriage.
Do you wanna marry a knight in shining armor? Then set your standards high. To be married to a man who loves the Lord and wants to serve Him is one of life’s highest privileges. It is worth whatever wait, whatever cost. Nail down your convictions and refuse to compromise by dating men who are not controlled by God's Holy Sprit.
Friday, July 01, 2005
LADY IN WAITING by debby jones & jackie kendall
Chapter 8: Lady of Contentment
- The Torture of Desire
It has been said that suffering is having what you do not want (singleness) and wanting what you do not have (a husband). As a single woman, you’d probably scream “amen” to such a description of suffering. You know what is it like to get up each day, knowing that you do not have what you want – a husband. How do you cope with such a longing?
Longing for what you do not have is a universal condition. It is not limited to singles. It is true that the longing for a husband can be satisfied on your wedding day, but that longing is soon replaced by desires and expectations about the marriage relationship that may not be satisfied in a thousand lifetimes. If you are presently discontented as a single woman, you can count on being dissatisfied as a married woman in the future.
- Capacity To Wait
Circumstantially, Ruth had the perfect excuse to be discontented. Widowed at a young age, her circumstances provided the perfect breeding ground for self-pity and bitterness. Yet Ruth chose to cling to the God of Israel, whom she found to be trustworthy, even in difficult circumstances.
Contentedly facing each day’s task, Ruth received the attention and blessing of the most eligible bachelor in town. Then Naomi told her that Boaz was a candidate for being their kinsman-redeemer (see the levirate law in Deut 25 : 5-10). This simply means that the Mosaic Law allowed Boaz, as the closest kin, to redeem the childless widow and keep the family name alive. The law could even require that Boaz marry Ruth. Can you imagine the most eligible bachelor saying to you, “The law requires I marry you before your 13th birthday?”
Naomi instructs Ruth to approach Boaz and ask him if he would be their kinsman-redeemer. This episode is covered in chapter 3 of the Book of Ruth. Boaz’s response, “And now, my daughter, don’t be afraid. I will do for you all you ask. All my fellow townsmen know that you are a woman of noble character” (Ruth 3:11) Can you imagine any man saying to you, “I will do for you all you ask”?
- Ditches of Discontentment
Being single can be difficult enuff for a woman, but the heartbreak from being “led on” by a man can dangerously lead to a ditch of discontentment. Some women are so emotionally scarred from falling into such a ditch that it literally takes them years to recover and rediscover the capacity to trust any male in their life.
Why some males are unaware of their capacity to defraud is still a mystery. “And that no man transgresses and defrauds his brother [sister] in the matter because the Lord is the avenger in all these things…” (1 Thess 4:6). To defraud is to excite physical or emotional desires that cannot be righteously fulfilled. Since many men do not realize how their actions defraud their sisters in Christ, single women need to be aware of common situations where a guy might lead a woman on.
One way a guy may lead a woman on is by the unwise things he may say or do. A wonderful single guy started a letter one day with the words Dear Sunshine. When asked who this “Dear Sunshine” was, he said it was his nickname for a girl at college. He came up with this affectionate nickname for her one evening when they stood on a hill overlooking the school as the sun was setting. When asked if they were dating he replied, “Oh no, we are just friends and there isn’t any future for our relationship.” He was encouraged to stop calling her Sunshine because it would defraud her emotionally.
Another way a guy may defraud a woman is by emphasizing the future potential of the relationship rather than focusing on the present opportunities for the friendship to grow. This way of defrauding incites feelings in a woman that cannot be properly fulfilled at that time. Do not encourage talk of things that “might be,” but rather encourage words and actions that develop the present friendship.
- The Eleventh Commandment
Keeping in mind these common ways that women can be defrauded by men, realize that a woman can sabotage her own contentment by defrauding herself. Protect your contentment by adopting this “Eleventh Commandment”: Thou shall not defraud thyself.
Women defraud themselves by confusing ministry with matrimony. A guy tries to help a girl grow spiritually, and she sees his care and interest as leading inevitably to marriage. Misread intentions between males and females put them on a collision course. The crash can be avoided if the Lady of Contentment would keep in mind that her emotions must be submitted to the fact: ministering together is a privilege as a believer, not an automatic marriage opportunity. A most innocent gesture can produce the most elaborate fantasy. A man sends a single woman a thank you card for her vital help n some project or ministry. What is her response to this kind of gesture? She laminates the card, anticipates a future with him, and allows her expectations to run rampant.
To heed the Eleventh Commandment, you must consciously resist doing another good deed for a man in your life until you know the motive behind your “unselfish” gesture. How many ministries have you participated in because of the chance to be seen by him? How many times have you volunteered to help a brother when you knew you would not be so willing to help a sister in Christ?
A dedicated Christian should do good deeds, but when you limit your service to the men in your group, it will ultimately backfire. You can end up feeling bruised by your own self-defrauding when you realize the man has taken your gesture of service for granted.
- Spiritual Monitor
When a friend excitedly calls you to tell you about the evening she has just spent with a special man, you often know before she gets two paragraphs into her telling of the evening where she is going – fantasy land. To help her monitor her reactions, point out that one long distant phone call from a male friend is not reason enuff to take him home to meet her parents. Encourage your friend instead, to wait until she see how the friendship develops.
How can you be a spiritual monitor? The next time a friend is bubbling over with joy after a date with a wonderful guy, pray for your capacity to share her joy; then pray for the courage to speak the truth about surrendering her dreams to the Lord and not running ahead of Him in her expectations. The spiritual monitor knows the importance of surrendering her own expectations to the only One who can be trusted with her desires and dreams.
- The Mystery of Contentment
Whether married or single, in prison or shopping at the mall, the key to your enjoying this moment deals with your inner contentment. When your happiness in life is based on “your terms,” it is a terrible limitation that will result in a hollow gladness.
Whether married or single, one must learn that it is Jesus who strengthens you to walk in the most dismal or delightful of circumstances. Your classroom for learning is your daily life. Every shattered dream or unfulfilled expectation serves as a perfect opportunity to learn contentment. These circumstances are your classroom assignments for learning the mystery of contentment, which requires complete dependence on Jesus.
- The Torture of Desire
It has been said that suffering is having what you do not want (singleness) and wanting what you do not have (a husband). As a single woman, you’d probably scream “amen” to such a description of suffering. You know what is it like to get up each day, knowing that you do not have what you want – a husband. How do you cope with such a longing?
Longing for what you do not have is a universal condition. It is not limited to singles. It is true that the longing for a husband can be satisfied on your wedding day, but that longing is soon replaced by desires and expectations about the marriage relationship that may not be satisfied in a thousand lifetimes. If you are presently discontented as a single woman, you can count on being dissatisfied as a married woman in the future.
- Capacity To Wait
Circumstantially, Ruth had the perfect excuse to be discontented. Widowed at a young age, her circumstances provided the perfect breeding ground for self-pity and bitterness. Yet Ruth chose to cling to the God of Israel, whom she found to be trustworthy, even in difficult circumstances.
Contentedly facing each day’s task, Ruth received the attention and blessing of the most eligible bachelor in town. Then Naomi told her that Boaz was a candidate for being their kinsman-redeemer (see the levirate law in Deut 25 : 5-10). This simply means that the Mosaic Law allowed Boaz, as the closest kin, to redeem the childless widow and keep the family name alive. The law could even require that Boaz marry Ruth. Can you imagine the most eligible bachelor saying to you, “The law requires I marry you before your 13th birthday?”
Naomi instructs Ruth to approach Boaz and ask him if he would be their kinsman-redeemer. This episode is covered in chapter 3 of the Book of Ruth. Boaz’s response, “And now, my daughter, don’t be afraid. I will do for you all you ask. All my fellow townsmen know that you are a woman of noble character” (Ruth 3:11) Can you imagine any man saying to you, “I will do for you all you ask”?
- Ditches of Discontentment
Being single can be difficult enuff for a woman, but the heartbreak from being “led on” by a man can dangerously lead to a ditch of discontentment. Some women are so emotionally scarred from falling into such a ditch that it literally takes them years to recover and rediscover the capacity to trust any male in their life.
Why some males are unaware of their capacity to defraud is still a mystery. “And that no man transgresses and defrauds his brother [sister] in the matter because the Lord is the avenger in all these things…” (1 Thess 4:6). To defraud is to excite physical or emotional desires that cannot be righteously fulfilled. Since many men do not realize how their actions defraud their sisters in Christ, single women need to be aware of common situations where a guy might lead a woman on.
One way a guy may lead a woman on is by the unwise things he may say or do. A wonderful single guy started a letter one day with the words Dear Sunshine. When asked who this “Dear Sunshine” was, he said it was his nickname for a girl at college. He came up with this affectionate nickname for her one evening when they stood on a hill overlooking the school as the sun was setting. When asked if they were dating he replied, “Oh no, we are just friends and there isn’t any future for our relationship.” He was encouraged to stop calling her Sunshine because it would defraud her emotionally.
Another way a guy may defraud a woman is by emphasizing the future potential of the relationship rather than focusing on the present opportunities for the friendship to grow. This way of defrauding incites feelings in a woman that cannot be properly fulfilled at that time. Do not encourage talk of things that “might be,” but rather encourage words and actions that develop the present friendship.
- The Eleventh Commandment
Keeping in mind these common ways that women can be defrauded by men, realize that a woman can sabotage her own contentment by defrauding herself. Protect your contentment by adopting this “Eleventh Commandment”: Thou shall not defraud thyself.
Women defraud themselves by confusing ministry with matrimony. A guy tries to help a girl grow spiritually, and she sees his care and interest as leading inevitably to marriage. Misread intentions between males and females put them on a collision course. The crash can be avoided if the Lady of Contentment would keep in mind that her emotions must be submitted to the fact: ministering together is a privilege as a believer, not an automatic marriage opportunity. A most innocent gesture can produce the most elaborate fantasy. A man sends a single woman a thank you card for her vital help n some project or ministry. What is her response to this kind of gesture? She laminates the card, anticipates a future with him, and allows her expectations to run rampant.
To heed the Eleventh Commandment, you must consciously resist doing another good deed for a man in your life until you know the motive behind your “unselfish” gesture. How many ministries have you participated in because of the chance to be seen by him? How many times have you volunteered to help a brother when you knew you would not be so willing to help a sister in Christ?
A dedicated Christian should do good deeds, but when you limit your service to the men in your group, it will ultimately backfire. You can end up feeling bruised by your own self-defrauding when you realize the man has taken your gesture of service for granted.
- Spiritual Monitor
When a friend excitedly calls you to tell you about the evening she has just spent with a special man, you often know before she gets two paragraphs into her telling of the evening where she is going – fantasy land. To help her monitor her reactions, point out that one long distant phone call from a male friend is not reason enuff to take him home to meet her parents. Encourage your friend instead, to wait until she see how the friendship develops.
How can you be a spiritual monitor? The next time a friend is bubbling over with joy after a date with a wonderful guy, pray for your capacity to share her joy; then pray for the courage to speak the truth about surrendering her dreams to the Lord and not running ahead of Him in her expectations. The spiritual monitor knows the importance of surrendering her own expectations to the only One who can be trusted with her desires and dreams.
- The Mystery of Contentment
Whether married or single, in prison or shopping at the mall, the key to your enjoying this moment deals with your inner contentment. When your happiness in life is based on “your terms,” it is a terrible limitation that will result in a hollow gladness.
Whether married or single, one must learn that it is Jesus who strengthens you to walk in the most dismal or delightful of circumstances. Your classroom for learning is your daily life. Every shattered dream or unfulfilled expectation serves as a perfect opportunity to learn contentment. These circumstances are your classroom assignments for learning the mystery of contentment, which requires complete dependence on Jesus.
CORINNE, CORINNE, CORINNE
Had a wonderful chat with Corinne yesterday when I was actually supposed to be working, haha… But this is a special case, I’d take a lil time off my work, but it’s only for Corinne *winkz* The rest of you, you can try it, but I won’t layan you, haha… (just kidding lar) Anyway, she did mention to me that she wasn’t feeling quite well recently, but I was thinking how bad could it be… Until I heard her (all the way from Canberra *giggles*), gosh… Well, it was a funny thing, she had a bad voice, but was trying her best to speak to me… She did sound really funny, I tell you… Hey Cor, hope you’re totally well by now, yea (you should be by now, tho)? *winkz*
Anyway, there were some other things that we’d chatted about, and it’s between me and her, so further details will not be revealed, haha… Well, she asked me some personal questions and naughty me asked her to take a guess, but then she wasn’t in the mood to guess, so I had to reveal it… Haihzz, no fun… Here’s what she said: “Elaine, you terrible, sick people also you wanna kacau like that…” O gosh, my dear, you actually confessed that you ARE sick? Nonsense!! Here people are praying for you, there you confess… Apalah!! But ok, after that she was all the positive Corinne again… Yay, man… That’s the way, ahah ahah, I like it!! Hehe…
Well, one thing’s for sure… EVERYTIME I chat with her online, I tend to start thinking of her, of the times we shared together when she was still here in Malaysia… And missing her, too… Really wan, haha… The other thing is that, other than Wai Ling (who kind of brought out the brighter side of Elaine Teo), she was another close friend who actually taught me to be a lil more outspoken and not to be so shy, hehe (imagine lar, only one year of knowing her can influence and make such a difference in me)… Honestly speaking, I used to be REALLY shy and closed up last time… Anyone of you who knew me from my secondary years, I'm sure you can testify to that, hehe…
Looking back at the conversation that we had yesterday, there were some things I mentioned that she actually say I was nuts, siau, crazy, whichever translation you want… Hey Cor, maybe I was giving you a hard time (nah, I think it shudnt be, coz I know you can take it, right? *winkz*), but then again, maybe not, hmm… And honestly, it was because of her that I turned out to be like that – siau and crappy… Che wah, blaming you pulak, hehe… And so the conversation goes… Definitely fun chatting with her… Before she signed off, she said that she’ll be meeting me again online that night, but sorry lar, couldn’t make it to the date with u… Had leaders meeting in church, so missed you for the night, hehe… Anyway, thanx again for evrything, dear… Thanx for accepting me for who I am, yea? (*winkz*)
Anyway, there were some other things that we’d chatted about, and it’s between me and her, so further details will not be revealed, haha… Well, she asked me some personal questions and naughty me asked her to take a guess, but then she wasn’t in the mood to guess, so I had to reveal it… Haihzz, no fun… Here’s what she said: “Elaine, you terrible, sick people also you wanna kacau like that…” O gosh, my dear, you actually confessed that you ARE sick? Nonsense!! Here people are praying for you, there you confess… Apalah!! But ok, after that she was all the positive Corinne again… Yay, man… That’s the way, ahah ahah, I like it!! Hehe…
Well, one thing’s for sure… EVERYTIME I chat with her online, I tend to start thinking of her, of the times we shared together when she was still here in Malaysia… And missing her, too… Really wan, haha… The other thing is that, other than Wai Ling (who kind of brought out the brighter side of Elaine Teo), she was another close friend who actually taught me to be a lil more outspoken and not to be so shy, hehe (imagine lar, only one year of knowing her can influence and make such a difference in me)… Honestly speaking, I used to be REALLY shy and closed up last time… Anyone of you who knew me from my secondary years, I'm sure you can testify to that, hehe…
Looking back at the conversation that we had yesterday, there were some things I mentioned that she actually say I was nuts, siau, crazy, whichever translation you want… Hey Cor, maybe I was giving you a hard time (nah, I think it shudnt be, coz I know you can take it, right? *winkz*), but then again, maybe not, hmm… And honestly, it was because of her that I turned out to be like that – siau and crappy… Che wah, blaming you pulak, hehe… And so the conversation goes… Definitely fun chatting with her… Before she signed off, she said that she’ll be meeting me again online that night, but sorry lar, couldn’t make it to the date with u… Had leaders meeting in church, so missed you for the night, hehe… Anyway, thanx again for evrything, dear… Thanx for accepting me for who I am, yea? (*winkz*)
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