It’s been a while. About a month. I will never know how much longer this journey will take but am I actually beginning to see some light at the end of the tunnel? Am I anywhere near the top of the well that I have fallen from? Or a better picture would be am I swimming to shore again after a heavy storm that caused my boat to overturn and with me drowning? I sure hope so. It’s been inside me for goodness-knows-how-long and it sure feels good to let it all out. Although I don’t see the result of it yet, I know for sure that things will come to light soon, if not right now.
Perhaps the bowling event did its magic trick on me, haha. Well, anyway, yesterday was a day of reflection for me. As I received the weekly issue of SURGE from Evie, I can’t help feeling guilt pangs all over me. Some how or other, I found myself relating to the HEARTCRY portion, probably only in a slightly different manner. No, I definitely did not have a friend pass away but the isi tersirat was there la. In more sense than one, it was “speaking” to me. Then as I was chatting with her online late last night, she reminded me again of this article. A question for me to ponder DEEP: Who is in control?
Then, as I was watching the Chinese series on Astro Wah Lai Toi, nothing else was as outstanding as the comment this guy gave when he was fishing with his buddy. I remembered it in Cantonese. Let’s see if the translation makes any sense at all: FISHING DOESN’T NECESSARILY SEE YOU TO AN OUTCOME, MOST IMPORTANTLY TO ENJOY THE PROCESS OF IT (made any sense here? Haha). In other words, life’s events doesn’t necessarily always turn out good. Whether the results are positive or negative, it’s all for His glory. What’s important is the LESSONS WE LEARNT IN THE PROCESS.
Right this moment, my sis is letting this song play repeatedly on the computer. Perhaps God is saying I needed to get the meaning of this song drilled in my head.
There is a longing, only You can fill
A raging tempest, only You can still
My soul is thirsty lord to know you as I’m known
Drink from the river that flows before your throne
** Take me deeper, deeper in love with You
Jesus, hold me close in Your embrace
Take me deeper, deeper than I’ve ever been before
I just wanna love You more and more
How I long to be deeper in love
Sunrise to sunrise, I can see Your face
Drawn by the spirit, to the promise of Your grace
My heart has found in you a hope that will abide
Here in your presence forever satisfied
Ooh yah, Esther, I’m so excited for you about the dream I got *winkz* I know how you feel. But if it’s something worth it, never let it past, ok? Whatever it is, pray about it yah? I sokong you… Mmmuuuaaahh *lol*
Edited: remember I said I was chatting with Evie online that night? Well, she was multi tasking, hehe. While chatting, she was preparing for worship for the next day. Believe it or not, when I look at the song sheet, this very same song was staring back at me. Goosebumps, haha. It definitely has to be God. I thought I felt distant from Him. But yet He was right there. I failed! I’m a miserable failure, but yet He was so gracious to point the truth out to me. I promise. I promise to climb back up, ok?
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