Exposed through and through!!

Be careful what you ask for. There is a God who hears. I can guarantee and testify to that. Never have I experienced such instant results of answered prayers ever before and yesterday, I felt so “naked” before Him because of my own request! I have been tossing and turning around in the sea of confusion, restless and disturbed. Coming to Him time and again, desiring to surrender all of me at the Cross, I have to admit that I failed miserably!

Yesterday, I had prayed and asked that He speak to me through the speaker in whichever area that I needed to be ministered to. Scripture Reading was always first, followed by worship, then the Word. Whoa, believe or not, even the Scripture Reading was like a hammer on the nail. The minute Uncle Kee Huat mentioned Jeremiah 29:11, my heart started beating so fast. I knew that verse very well. What more could He do with that verse than to strike me (of course not in anger, but with love). I knew particularly which area He was getting at. OUCH!!

Peter Chen (Ps Sam’s brother) led in worship, and one of the songs that hit me: YOU ARE AWESOME IN THIS PLACE. I just couldn’t sing along. I felt so unworthy to sing it. Do I really acknowledge Him as awesome since I couldn’t even give my all to Him? Is He worthy of all my praises? No doubt, He should be. However, I couldn’t bring myself to say “To You my life I raise.” I failed miserably there!! But in another sense, He is awesome to still love me enough to speak to me, correct me and bring me out of that guilt.

As I come into Your presence
Passed the gates of praise
Into Your sanctuary
Til we’re standing face to face
I look upon Your countenance
I see the fullness of Your grace
I can only bow down and say

CHORUS:
You are awesome in this place, Mighty God
You are awesome in this place, Abba Father
You are worthy of all praise
To You our lives we raise
You are awesome in this place, Mighty God.

When it was time for Word, I was asking God what is He going to shoot at me with this time. No doubt the points that he shared on, which is to have a compassionate heart, did the magic trick, haha. Giving the story of The Good Samaritan, he challenged us never to be a Levi or a Jew, but a SAMARITAN. Jesus always had a heart of compassion, and we’re called to be reflectors of His heart. We’re called to SHOW COMPASSION, not just BE A MISSIONARY. Everyone can be a missionary, whether or not we like it or have the calling, but not everyone CAN have a heart of compassion. SO TRUE :p

He said there were 4 points to THE REASON WHY WE DUN OBEY GOD. Firstly, because we think He doesn’t use ordinary people. We think we’re not good enough for Him to use us just as we are. We take on the wrong conception that He only uses “superstars.” Secondly, it’s because we get overwhelmed by what we’re supposed to do. We worry about how we’re supposed to do it, could we ever do it well. Worry sets in when we don’t and can't achieve it for Him. He has called us to do something for Him, and when we don’t get it done like He wants it, we get our minds full of it. (I’m guilty!! *lol*)

There’s supposed to be three more points I think, but for second service, he only managed 2. Stopping at the second, he said he sense very strongly that the Holy Spirit is telling some of us in the congregation (to me la) to LET GO OF THE THING YOU’VE BEEN HOLDING ON TO!! Walao!! Hebrews 11:1, which is also DUMC’s theme for this year, tells us what faith is all about so I’m just believing. If I’m hanging on to this verse, where did I go wrong that nothing seems to be working out? Yes, I have been holding on, but that’s because I merely held on to the promise of Hebrews 11:1, now He’s telling me “to let go?”

I can't do it!! It has been the same for the past similar events. If You want me to let go, help me!! If You want me to overcome it, help me with this “test”!! And help me fast, please!! I’ve been “exposed through and through” in shame before You, I dun think there’s anyone who can “help me up” other than You!!