HAPPEEE FOR A CHANGE!!

I’ve been bugging him to tell me the exact date of his return to Malaysia again. But he said he wanted it to be a surprise. Hmm. Assuming that it would be in early December (very near his sister’s wedding, that’s what he told me), I was surprise but very happy at the same time to hear that Wei Sern is back!! Weee~ If I had known, I would have been in Grace to welcome him back, haha…

I sound like some emo freak… miserable one day, happy & excited the next, heh. I just got a call from him 3 hours ago… I will be having a date with him for supper tomorrow nite *winkz* can I take it? First it’s full day at work, then dinner with Light House people to prepare and practice for a small appreciation for our cell leader at a sub zone gathering this Friday… hopefully it wont drag too long as my dear Wei Sern would be next in line, haha…

I’m happeee… as of now, it’s exactly 24 hours more til I meet up with him tomorrow nite… hooray!! Hey, thanx for the 8 yrs of friendship, my dear friend…

[my mom adviced me to arrange it to another nite considering I’ll be out again for dinner once I get back from work, being concerned that I will be tired after a whole day at work… but just for Wei, I don’t and won’t mind, hehe]

NEVER TRY NEVER KNOW, BUT ONCE BITTEN TWICE SHY…

Three more days sees me through one month of working with my new company, a company secretarial firm. Honestly, I really don’t know how I ended up in this line. Was it because of my own big mouth and eager expression to give it a shot when my mom’s friend, Patricia, a.k.a. my lady boss called to ask if any of my sister’s friends who might be interested to work? Look what happened now!! I sent myself into the crocodile’s mouth, ahaha *sigh*

It’s true that if we never tried, we’d never know (when I say this, I'm refering to all other aspects as well la :p). But now that I’ve tasted it, will there be a way out for me? I could see the pattern of the absence of passion in the things I do. What’s worse is that I know nuts about this line. One week is enough for me to want out, but it looks very clear to me that I am trapped in my own option. Not only am I not passionate about this job, I have to face an unreasonable “bunch of people” who is constantly demanding for things, bla bla. So am I expected to tolerate being blamed for something I did not do at all?

A friend said I’ll “do fine”, and told me to “hang in there.” Coming from someone whose friendship I treasure much, it really means a lot. Thanks, dear!! But can I really do it? I do not wish to be like a square knot, that after having been tied down, I cannot entangle myself again, finding no way out!!

Yesterday's message by Ps. Matthew Foo Yung Chean entitled THE BEST IS YET TO COME was a good one as far as I was concerned, heh… For He said in His Word that “He will not let us be tempted beyond what we can bear…” so I am looking out for a way out soon… as soon as He’s finished with what He wants to do with me tho, kekeke :p

Let me cry!!

My thoughts have been in a mess again… many things have been going on inside of me and I know I need to get it out, but I failed yet again… as I lay on my bed waiting to fall asleep each night, I want someone to be there to listen to me… but yet I know that even if there is someone (of coz I can count on my sis, but somehow I know it wont work), it will not make any difference because I don’t even know how to bring them out…

Perhaps it’s just one of those times when I don’t even know or can’t even tell what I want from myself. I put up a strong front, yet I feel like crumbling inside. I know I feel like crying, but the tears seemed to have dried and refused to flow… a friend once told me that it is good to cry once in a while, letting out all that is inside (now if he, a guy, can express himself by crying, why does it seem so hard for me?) Debbie Debbie’s (Debbie Yeow, that is) words of blessing for me on my birthday last week was that I will be surrounded with trustworthy friends with whom I can share my darkest secrets. I’m still waiting for these trustworthy ones, haha.

2006 will come to a close very very soon… will I, then, be able to look back and see progress? Will I put a smile on His face and be worthy of His Words, “Well done, good and faithful servant!”

Come, Holy Spirit, fall on me now
I need Your anointing, come in Your pow’r
I love You, Holy Spirit, You captivate my soul
And everyday I grow to love You more

** I’m reachin’ for Your heart
You hold my life in Your hands
Drawing me closer to You
I feel Your power renew
Nothing compares to this place
Where I can see You face to face
I worship You in spirit and in truth.

[a new song I learnt from DUMC's Young Adults' retreat back in August this year...]

BECAUSE YOU LOVED ME!!

For all those times you stood by me
For all the truth that you made me see
For all the joy you brought to my life
For all the wrong that you made right
For every dream you made come true
For all the LOVE I found in you
I’ll be forever thankful baby
You’re the one who held me up
Never let me fall
You’re the one who saw me through
Through it all.

** You were my strength when I was weak
You were my voice when I couldn’t speak
You were my eyes when I couldn’t see
You saw the best there was in me
Lifted me up when I couldn’t reach
You gave me faith coz you believed
I’m everything I am
Because you loved me.

You gave me wings and made me fly
You touched my hand I could touch the sky
I lost my faith, you gave it back to me
You said no star was out of reach
You stood by me and I stood tall
I had your love I had it all
I’m grateful for each day you gave me
Maybe I don’t know that much
But I know this much is true
I was blessed because I was loved by you.

Bridge: You were always there for me
The tender wind that carried me
A light in the dark
Shining your love into my life
You’ve been my inspiration
Through the lies you were the truth
My world is a better place
Because of you.

Subsequent to the birthday celebration Friday and Wednesday, I would like to dedicate this song to all who has been a part of such a special day for me!! My family (parents & sibs)… My Light House cell members, the members of Father’s Garden cell group… And everyone else with their thoughtful e-cards and sms-es *winkz* To that special “someone” out there, whoever you are, you are an inspiration to me in many, many ways!! Most of all to My Creator, my Refuge, my Comforter and Friend, I was blessed because I was LOVED BY YOU… And I am who I am today because of You!!

A SWEET SURPRISE!!

I turned prematurely a year older by two days, haha. It was pre planned that since we don’t have cell on Friday, there will be a “cell makan outing” on Wednesday for the members of Light House. Evie picked me up and headed for THE CURVE yesterday. I just allowed myself to be pushed and led around as I have only been to that place once.

So I thought it was only a casual “makan” with my cell members. Surprisingly, as we exited the lift, I saw Sharon from Father’s Garden. Suspicion started building up, and it really doubled over when I spotted the rest of the Father’s Garden members sitted around a table in Restaurant Heaven. It was a unique place, with a live band complimenting our dinner. They take song requests too *winkz*

When You Say Nothing At All, If Tomorrow Never Comes A birthday “makan” will not be a birthday “makan” without the HAPPY BIRTHDAY song, hehe. A really sweet and simple celebration!! Thanx!! To the person who organised it (i'm sorry i dunno who, but u knw who u are), thank u!! Tho it is short, sweet and simple, it still means alot to me, really!! It's the thought that counts, amen? ;) ooh, and a very nice place u chose too, with the singing and all, haha... To the members of Father's Garden (whether anot ur being there is planned), thank u for being a part of this. Heard that u guys are supposed to have cell tonite? Haha... Thanx for having been a part of my life, tho it has only been a short time that i got to knw u guys... To every1 who were there, thanx for all the blessings and wishes... Will treasure and keep them close to heart :)

Light House: My very own cell group

Light House girls

Evie girl!! The most bubbly, jumpy, laugh-y gal I ever met :p hehehe

Nicole.. I guessed she was the one behind this surprise for me, heh.. Thanx girl!! I had a great time..

Father’s Garden: Two cells before mine.. I call them our “grand mother cell” XD

The candle that a friend used as an illustration for his birthday blessings for me.. So sweet :”>

Ooh, and Sharon... That was a very good way of detouring and cover-up, haha...

Thanx and thanx again!! May our friendship be blessed with many many more years to come :)

Hugz & muakz from me... Hahaha :))

FOR A CHANGE.

NO COMPROMISE! How will this phrase affect and/or make an impact in my life? Referring to last Sunday's message by Ps. SS Kee entitled FAITHFUL OR FATAL CHOICES, I have always been taught to follow the right teachings of the Bible and never compromise my stand for God. But can I do it? Am I courageous enough to stand for what is right? Or do I just ignore the faults and play along with it? My new job has been good. Or so it seems. Whatever that means, I just want to do the right thing, according to His will. I have passed one stage where the theme “No compromise” is concerned. Is this another test? Lord, help me!!

On a different note, I am seeing a new perspective for a new future. Yeehaaa. Speaking of new, indeed I want quite a few new things. But am I ready for it? When He drops it on my lap, am I ready to embrace it? For this, I have to thank a good friend for offering perceptions and insights to the situation. Thanx Wei for taking the time to hear me out that day *winkz*

Speaking of new, my new “car” arrived yesterday. My very own, made-up version of “Quickie 813”, haha (dun ask me what’s with the number, tho. Heehee.) Moving about in the office is now a very much easier task, especially having to carry big and heavy files. I need to use the typewriter and the computer alternately, so switching from one workstation to another has also been made easier with my dear Quickie. Let’s see if I get to use it at other times besides work. Perhaps like shopping, where I don’t need people to push me around, and therefore can go wherever I like.

Just stop it!!

It’s damn annoying to know that history is repeating itself again. It happened before, it is happening again. It can be avoided if people weren’t too free to start creating havoc. I can never understand what thrills them so much to see arguments happen between two very close friends which will lead to their drifting apart. Is it jealousy? Or just for the heck of it?

At one point some time ago, my friendship with a fellow friend deteriorated just because of uncalled for rumors. And now that I am in a totally new environment, I thought that it will not happen again. Perhaps I thought wrong. Enough is enough!! Whoever you are, don’t you think I deserve some respect? Thanx for the “help”, but no thanx, ok?? Read me properly: NO THANK YOU!!

After an event last Thursday [yes, last Thursday is correct. I have been missing from cyber world because of a very irritating connection again. Thankfully, I dun have to use streamyx for work anymore. And yes, I have started my new job. Will go more into it later], I just sensed something fishy and felt a bit uneasy at that. True enough a day later, I was confronted. Whoever you are, will you just stop it?? Please read the four-letter word properly: I HATE the way my friendships are being ruined by a third party!! If you happened to bump into this but still don’t get the hint, God bless you for being so insensitive!!