YOU MAKE ME "SCATTERED"!!

I seem to have been missing out on some things in my life. Ever since having to go in and out of the hospital, I have not been attending Sunday services and serving in Royal Rangers regularly. I have been missing out on so much as far as a couple of close friends are concerned.

I happened to pop by a friend’s blog, only to realize that I made the wrong move. I really did!! After reading her latest entry, it’s like rubbing salt to the wound. Right then, it made me so emo. I was frustrated, I was angry. I was disappointed in many ways. I couldn’t even understand myself. If I can’t work towards it, can I then find my way back out? I just wanted some time for myself. More than that, I wanted to be out and away, alone. Thank God for close friends who never questioned, but just did their best to be there for you. I know it is not fair to demand him for his time, so I was actually just trying my luck on this. I was glad he said yes. I was glad he offered. Thanks dear!!

He never did thought of a specific place to bring me. Just that he was willing to take me on rounds to nowhere (joy ride, he said), so to speak, just so that I could “set my mind straight again”. After a while, he suggested visiting a friend over at Sungai Long. Not being sure of the directions to her place, we missed a turning, and in so doing lost our way, haha. How on earth did we end up in Kajang? :)) So, I had longer time to “bising”, haha.

Making the best out of the blunder, we agreed on satay kajang [it really took my mind off those nonsense for a while there, heh]. Sitting down for some satay, memories of things that happened back when we were younger really made me smile. Silly things we did as a group of young teenagers back then :p on the other hand, opening up about all the bad experiences that we would rather not re-live. Shedding light on some of the things that “stretched” us, I won’t deny the fact that God has been the source of strength in this friendship.

And friends are friends forever
If the Lord’s the Lord of them
And a friend will not say never
Coz the welcomes will not end
And I know this will be true
It’s the Lord who showed me faith
And a lifetime’s not too long to live as friends [by Michael W. Smith]

I was a scatterbrain right from Monday itself, and I didn’t get any better until the night I spilled everything. In fact, I can’t deny what is on the surface. I can’t deny that I am actually just running away from reality. You really make me so “scattered”. But at least it got me thinking of what I really wanted. So I decided to “stay away from danger” for the moment. I don’t wanna be a scatterbrain. But really, how long can it last?