Highly Recommended!!

God’s Call to the Single Adult by Michael Cavanaugh is a book I would highly recommend (view it here). I saw this book in Alvin’s (my almost-everyday chat buddy) hands last Sunday, and instantly got interested in it. He had borrowed it from DUMC’s library. Since he had borrowed a few others, he offered to let me have this one first. I can't deny the fact that this is indeed a really very good book *winkz* Need I say more? The title of this post has spoken for itself, haha.

Just because I am reading this book does not mean that I have resolved to staying single. I just merely chose to leave this department to the Almighty God, heh. When she saw me with this book during dinner, my sister started teasing me (as usual la, haha). “Wah, che, you dowan find boyfriend meh?” Haha, good question. Not that I don’t want to, but what is more important right now is to focus on God and His will for my life. If it is His will, God will eventually bless me with the right person.

How would you respond if I told you (well, not I, but the author of the book of coz) that singleness is a choice? I was confused too, but as I read on, all I did was smile and nod in agreement with the author. I smiled a satisfied smile knowing that I did what pleased my Master. Here’s an extraction of a portion with the title “Singleness Doesn’t Mean Rejection”:

Singleness is neither a stigma nor a social disease. It is a matter of choice. “What! Mike, how can you say that? I’m divorced. I’m widowed. My fiancée broke off our engagement. I never wanted this lonely life. Not ever. How can you tell me I’m single because I’ve chosen to be?”

Because it’s true. Oh, you may not have become single in the first place because you chose to be. Someone else may have gotten the divorce. Someone else may have broken the engagement. Someone else may have died. But right now, as you are reading this book, you are single by choice. Let me explain to you what I mean.

If you wanted to be married today, you could be. I guarantee you, I could find somebody for you. If you had no criteria, no real guidelines, or no moral standards to speak of, I could find someone who’d be willing to marry you. Anybody who doesn’t have any standards can get married.

But you do have standards [ooh yes, I know I definitely have!!]; and, whether or not the idea is comfortable for you, you’re single because of those standards. You’ve made certain choices in your life. Some of them may have been good, and others may have been bad. That matters little. The fact is you chose them. You’re single by choice.

Even your choice to be a Christian has narrowed the field. As a Christian, you’ve made a lot of choices that non-Christian singles haven’t. You’re not of this world, and you do not follow their standards. You’ve chosen to follow Christ and that has set you apart. It has limited your choices.

Let me give you a few examples. You don’t go to some of the places that non-Christian singles go. You don’t think along the same lines as non-Christian singles do. You don’t even approach your work and your relationships with others the way they do. And that’s because of a choice you’ve made. A choice for life – a choice for Jesus Christ!

That’s why a lot of you are single today. You’re single because of Christ. You’re single because you haven’t been willing to compromise the Truth you stand for. You’re single for God. And on the day you stand before Him, He’s not going to look at you and rate you on your marital status. He’s not going to say, “Oh poor Janie. Somehow she just never made it to the altar. She just didn’t make it.” He’s going to look into your heart and see the uncompromising stand you took, with the desire of being wholly pleasing to Him. He’s going to see your singleness not as a failure but as the price you were willing to pay to follow Him.

You’ve chosen to be single. It’s not an evil curse, and it’s not a sign you’ve failed. If anything, it’s a sign you’ve chosen Jesus as your Lord and Saviour, and you stand for righteousness. That’s a fantastic choice indeed, and a great reason for being single. You’re single for Him!

If I did not have my own standards, I could have, and would have, easily gotten together with any Tom, Dick & Harry who have offered me opportunities (which I know I will regret later) to be more than friends. But that is not what I wanted. I wanted someone who could fulfill the basic standards which I have set for myself as a Christian. Whenever it comes to this particular issue, I’ve always been known to be picky :p “Be careful. If you’re too picky, you might not be able to find any. Humans are not perfect, you know.” No, who is asking him to be perfect? I am not perfect either. All I am looking for is that he is God fearing. That is just the word. No need for further explanations, but yet the word God fearing explains it all. And it’s all for a good cause, amen? Haha… So, yea, go read this book!! In fact, I actually had the thought of investing in one *winkz* See how la, kekeke…