In A Mix-Up!!

When I look into Your holiness
When I gaze into Your loveliness
When all things that surrounds me
Become shadows in the light of You
When I found the joy of reaching Your heart
When my will becomes enthroned in Your love
When all things that surrounds me
Become shadows in the light You.

I worship You, I worship You
The reason I live is to worship You
I worship You, I worship You
Is to worship You.

As I was playing this song on my Windows Media Player just now, mixed feelings & emotions started welling up in me. Why am I feeling this way? Fear? Doubt? Uncertainties? Why the confusion? I made a promise to myself and all I wanted to do now is to live up to it. But then again, circumstances could change according to God’s will despite that promise. I know that when that happens, I would be overflowing with joy. But am I ready for that change? Am I willing to leave all selfish thoughts behind and move on with the will of God for my life if He sees fit?

A friend of mine buzzed me online (unexpectedly, heh) and begin to draw my attention to a certain subject, and I thought that it was very sweet of him to offer time and counsel. A counselor is supposed to listen, not talk. I know you might say, “I didn’t do a thing.” Trust me, friend, the fact that you gave your time and lent a listening ear is more than enough. Whoever you are (if you happen to be reading this, you know who you are), thanx for hearing me out. No worries about analyzing and judging because like I said, I NEED, AND WANT, INSIGHTS!! *winkz* I wanna know if what I’m thinking (which will subsequently lead to a decision) right now is the right thing in God’s eyes.

Am I ready for that change? Am I willing to take that bold step just to see things change for the better? Truly, when I look deep into Your holiness, when I fix my gaze and focus on nothing else but Your loveliness, all earthly & temporal things that surrounds me will become shadows when Your light shines down upon me. When I found the joy of reaching Your heart, and putting a smile on Your face…and when my will and desires become enthroned in Your love (and Your will, of course), again it will be but shadows when Your light shines down upon me. When I begin to realise that it is You and Your will that supersedes all others, all I can and will do is worship You in reverence & awe. Help me to be able to say, “The reason I’m alive here on earth is for You and You alone.”

Romans 8:28 & 31 ~~> And we know that in all things, God works for the good of those who love Him, who have been called according to His purpose…… What then, shall we say in response to this? If (my) God is for me, who can be against me?