Just Too Free...

You Should Consult a Few Friends First

It's possible that your guy is cool with you proposing, but why take the chance? At the very least, talk to a couple mutual friends to see what they think he'll say It sounds like him saying no would be a setback for your relationship And if things are going smoothly, why take that risk? Only ask if you know it will go well.

Should You Propose To Him?

Guys Like That You're Sensitive

And not in that "cry at a drop of a hat" sort of wayYou just get most guys - even if you're not trying toGuys find it is easy to confide in you and tell you their secretsNo wonder you tend to get close quickly in relationships!

What Do Guys Like About You?

You Are a Cappuccino

You're fun, outgoing, and you love to try anything new.However, you tend to have strong opinions on what you like.You are a total girly girly at heart - and prefer your coffee with good conversation.You're the type that seems complex to outsiders, but in reality, you are easy to please

What Kind of Coffee Are You?

You Are a White Rose

You represent youthfulness and purity. Your vibe: Sweet and heavenly Falling in love with you: is like falling in love for the first time

What Color Rose Are You?

You Don't Have a Boyfriend Because You are Too Shy

When a guy gets to know you, he finds a great catchProblem is... you're too shy for most guys to get to know.From meeting someone to dating, you usually have your guard up.And while you're just holding back, it makes you seem like you've got something to hide.

Why Don't You Have a Boyfriend?

You Are Medium Maintenance

You aren't as hard to deal with as some girlsBut you aren't the most laid back chick eitherYou're easy to deal with 90% of the time, but watch out for that 10%!If the guy you are with has good intentions, then calm down a littleBut if he's really screwing up, don't waste your breath - move on :-)

Are You High Maintenance?

You Are Friends With Potential

There's a little spark going on here, no question about itWill this develop into a hot romance? Look to your guy friend for clues.Does he flirt with all his female friends? Or are you an exception?If he's giving you special treatment, you've won a part of his heart already.

Is He More Than a Friend?

You are a Great Girlfriend

When it comes to your guy, you're very thoughtfulBut you also haven't stopped thinking of yourselfYou're the perfect blend of independent and caringYou're a total catch - make sure your guy knows it too!

Are You A Good Girlfriend?

You Are a Coy Flirt!

You're not so much a flirt as the type of girl who draws flirts inWhile you look like you're just relaxing, secretly you've got your game onA little look here, a little wink there... you give men the encouragement they craveAnd in return, they flirt up a storm with you - while you just sit and smile

What Kind Of A Flirt Are You?

You Are An Intro-Extrovert!

Sometimes you're social - sometimes you're shyYou've got a bit of an Introvert / Extrovert split going onYou enjoy all sorts of situations. Parties, small groups, and alone time.Too much of one, and you'll long for the other. You need varity!Chances are, you've got both serious and fun friends - and they don't get along.

Are You An Extrovert or Introvert?

You Are Mint Chocolate Chip Ice Cream

Creative. Expressive. Unique.

What Flavor Ice Cream Are You?

And So He Speaks!!

Still…

Hide me now,
Under Your wings
Cover me
Within Your mighty hands

** When the oceans rise and thunders roar
I will soar with You above the storm
Father, You are King over the flood
I will be still know You are God

Find rest my soul
In Christ alone
Know His power
In quietness and trust

*Ouch* The word “still” just pierced through me like I’ve been stabbed with a knife. I know I promised myself to let go and let God, but as human as I am, I fall short of that promise. Lord, help me!

This song, or rather just the word itself, was mentioned 3 times within the week. Coincidence? I don’t think so. First, it was a word from the Lord through Connor in the Light House prayer log that came in last Thursday, speaking straight into me to “be still when He speaks.” Worship for cell the next day was led by Peter, this song again. Gosh, it is not as if they knew what was going on in my head to deliberately use this song at me. It has to be God at work!! So I was only thinking in my head that the next place it will appear is either in SURGE or FAITH, weekly e-newsletters of DUMC. True enough when I received the mail, the song was right there, haha…

It is not easy when we do it with our own strength, really. It has been tried and tested that there’s no way to force it if it was never God’s will to begin with – my Japan application was an obvious proof in itself. Therefore for the sake of the ones I love, and for my own good, I made a decision to slow down, be still and let Jesus take the wheels, the wheels of my life!!

Jesus, Take the Wheel by Carrie Underwood

She was driving last Friday on her way to Cincinnati
On a snow white Christmas Eve
Going home to see her mama and her daddy with the baby in the back seat
Fifty miles to go and she was running low on faith and gasoline
It’s been a long hard year
She had a lot on her mind and she didn’t pay attention
She was going way too fast
Before she knew it she was spinning on a thin black sheet of glass
She saw both their lives flashed before her eyes
She didn’t even have time to cry
She was sooo scared
She threw her hands up in the air

** Jesus, take the wheels, take it from my hands
Coz I can't do this on my own
I’m letting go, so give me one more chance
To save me from this road I’m on
Jesus take the wheel

It was still getting colder when she made it to the shoulder
And the car came to a stop
She cried when she saw that baby in the backseat sleeping like a rock
And for the first time in a long time
She bowed her head to pray
She said, “I’m sorry for the way
I’ve been livin’ my life
I know I’ve got to change
So from now on tonight

RETREATS…

These kinds of sunset pictures always remind me of retreats, be it youth camps, leaders’ retreats, cell retreats, especially if it was a seaside view… the beauty of these kinds of sunset sceneries used to be an object for our cameras, and a compliment for our poser acts as the trip comes to an end… [this picture was captured by my sister during our family trip to Langkawi last year… *Note: Esther, don’t say I take your pic without permission :p I mentioned your BIG name here, kekeke]

I love retreats!! It has been a while since I went for one… The last retreat I went for was the Selangor #7 Royal Rangers Leaders’ Retreat back in November last year… Although this retreat was a little different from those of the previous years’, it was no doubt, the personal retreat that I really appreciated most… besides the usual fellowship time we had in various “cliques”, they had an outdoor time of fun at the waterfalls (which I sat out becoz it was inconvenient for me to tag along)… I used the word “they” because all went, except me (Auntie Chew & Auntie Deanna stayed back too), but it was all good *winkz*

I could use some time alone to myself, waiting on the Lord… not like I don’t usually do that, but having the peace & privacy in your own room without any distractions & disturbances from the “outside world” really feels good sometimes… more often than not it is in retreats like this that I am so relaxed in God that I do not have to worry about the cares & concerns of life… reflecting on His goodness, marveling at His faithfulness and just appreciating Him for who He is!! In such a solitary time as this, I got to know more of myself, what I really wanted in life (and of course it is what God wanted for me that matters most!)…

That was 8 mths ago… at the moment, a 2-months break from a weekly full, busy Sunday is good as well… don’t get me wrong, not that my passion for serving (not forgetting my passion for children) is dying, but I do believed that apart from serving in the ministry, it is also essential that we get our lives right with God, seek His will, and move on with His vision for us… of course at the end of the day, wherever we are, whatever we do, it is our relationship with Him that matters most *winkz*

I want to go for a retreat!! Hahaha… I have missed 2 retreats this year, one is the Praise Givers’ cell retreat to Pulau Perhentian in Terengganu, the other a family retreat back to my home town, Terengganu again, haha… when will the next one be? DUMC’s Young Adult (YA) camp? Light House’s cell retreat? Maybe I could suggest this to Connor, haha =) The Selangor #7 Royal Rangers Leaders’ Retreat will only be held in November, haih *lol* retreats, retreats…

What If I Let You Go?

Day after day, time pass away
And I just can't get you off my mind
Nobody knows I hide it inside
I keep on searching but I can't find
The courage to show
To letting you know
I’ve never felt so much love before
And once again I’m thinkin’ about
Taking the easy way out…

Chorus:
But if I let you go,
I will never know
What my life would be holding you close to me
Will I ever see you smiling back at me
How will I know if I let you go…

Night after night, I hear myself say
Why can't this feeling just fade away
There’s no one like you to speak to my heart
It’s such a shame we’re worlds apart
I’m to shy too ask
I’m too proud to lose
But sooner or later I gotta choose
And once again I’m thinkin’ about
Taking the easy way out…

Years ago, when I was still in high school, the liking for boy bands like Westlife and Backstreet Boys is merely for their cute looks, kakaka… Until one day, this song struck me, and a hard one it was… Today, it struck me a second time, sigh… In short, I was disappointed!! My human mind saw it the negative way when I knew there was no way out, or rather I didn’t know how to handle it…

Like the chorus says: But if I let it go, I will never know… what my life would be, holding it close to me… will I ever see it coming back to me, how will I know if I let it go… I was so affected by the situation that happened this morning I just felt like giving up the whole idea… But guess what? A short while later, my cousin, Hong Yin, buzzed me online and as we begin chatting, she brought a whole new light to the situation which I have never pictured before… although she doesn’t know exactly what is going on, something she said really made me think twice about my own thoughts and perception of things…

Thanx gal!! Altho it doesn’t help solve the whole problem, I see a new light in this situation now and I cannot deny that you had a point there in terms of wanting the best… I will strive on!! *muaks*

[Add-ins: I forgot… what I’m looking at now, after chatting with my cousin, is a whole new pic altogether… Is not the title of the song, but rather the last two lines of each verse *winkz* thanx again, Yin :)]

A Timely Call...

Did God just sent an angel to deliver my heart’s request all the way from here to Melbourne? Seriously, it was so timely! I really needed someone to whom I can speak my heart out, an emotional outlet… Someone who know me well enough that I do not need to have a hard time explaining myself… And hey presto, Wei Sern buzzed me online… it was 12.00 a.m. this morning :) Not only did he buzz me, shortly after I mentioned that there’s so much I wanted to tell him, he offered to call me so I could talk about it… Melbourne time would be 2.00 a.m. and he could very well be snoring in bed, but still a whole hour was spared just to hear me out, although I know that this whole conversation might have sounded silly to him… Aaww, ain’t that sweet? Wei, don’t pop yah? XD but yes, that was just what he did… he called me all the way from Melb!! Dude, you don’t know how much I appreciate that!!

This was such an important call to me, really… in fact, I was just thinking to myself a few days ago how nice if Wei was here, which reminds me a lot about the times when he was still here in Malaysia… having been a close friend who has been there for me, I wont deny the fact that I really missed him, hehe… and the fact that someone was there to hear me out was good, really good!! some might say, “you know, you shouldn't depend on men for they might fail you!! Don’t you think you should turn to God rather than getting yourself disappointed should your human friends fail you?” For those of you out there who thought that way, don’t you see the picture that friends are an extension of God’s love? They are there because God sent them to us… when we need a shoulder to cry on or even a reassuring hug, it is our trusted friends that God will bring at the right time for the right reason… to comfort us and hear us out… just be there for us EVEN IF no words were spoken… or He might even SPEAK to us through our friends…

Thank you is all I can say, my dear friend!! It is appreciated beyond words can say, really!! Particularly THIS call *lol* above all else thank You for granting my heart’s request to receive that call…

LIFE IS FRAGILE…

How true is that? I just found out today (wonder how come I wasn’t informed) from one of my kids in Royal Rangers that her mom had passed away last month due to colon cancer… eight-year-old Kher Huey is such an innocent, adorable little girl, but yet life just had to throw something like that at her… can we say life is unfair then? Yes and no… A yes is to the fact that Kher Huey has lost someone she dearly loved and needed in her formative years, to be there for her when she needed someone to turn to… A role model, a mother, the most important person in one’s life!! A no is because we have an all-knowing God who wants nothing but the best for us, therefore when He sees that we can no longer bear the sufferings, He brings us to a place where we can freely trade our sickness for health in Jesus’ name!!

As much as we want her to be victorious over the sickness, we also know that Jesus loves her too much to see her in that suffering state to let her go on struggling to fight the battle… it was because of the miracle that she was once able to survive this deadly disease that she gave her life to Jesus… Little did she know that a relapse of that sickness would come back to haunt her… But being a new Christian, Auntie Lai Fun knew that her life was secure in Him… I knew she faithfully went to church, and she even sent her only daughter Kher Huey to Rangers to be nurtured wholly as a person: Physical, Spiritual, Mental & Social… I just pray that Kher Huey will remain strong for her dad’s sake… Ooh, heard from my mom that her dad may have accepted the Lord becoz he was seen holding a Bible in church… Praise God!! Kher Huey, commander loves you!! But what's more important, Jesus loves you *hugz*

This proves that life is so fragile… no one will ever know when his time here on earth is up except God and until that time comes, our responsibility here is to fulfill our calling in Him… may I add that prayerfully we will be able to achieve all our dreams & hopes instead of leaving this earth with regrets (I’m speaking to myself here as well, haha)

Risking it all...

Should I? Will I? What if? How? Is it worth it? Aaarrgghh!! Help me!! Hahaha… These questions have been repeatedly playing in my head lately… “But you will never know until and unless you try,” is the subsequent response to those thoughts… I have been, and still am, in a situation where I want to see something happen, but am afraid to move in with it… Afraid of what I don’t know…

Many a times I have taken it in on myself, never did anything drastic, never dared… Why? Fear is the word!! I think it all began with just a simple conversation with Peter (I do appreciate that call very much Peter), afterwhich he left me pondering so much on it, sigh… AND as if to add salt to the wound, my sister started asking me questions pertaining to that, not that I blamed her for it… So began our sisterly chats where, in the midst of our girl talks, I began to realise a whole new picture as far as this issue is concerned… Believe it or not, there were some areas where as usual, full of opinions to offer, she kind of confirmed what Peter shared with me the night before… hey, thanx A LOT, you two *winkz*

What if such and such happened? Will I take the risk? What if I am face to face with the opportunity right now? Something that I have been smiling at, something that I know I would gladly welcome. Will I dare to grab hold of it? Or will I just let it pass & slip through my fingers just because I am afraid? What if someone were to come knocking at my heart’s door? Am I ready to swing it open for him? Am I ready to start a journey with the person who might one day end up as the one who will complete me? Is he willing enough to sacrifice his life for me? I have no right to demand anything, really… I shall just take things one at a time *winkz*

A mental note & self reminder: NEVER DO SOMETHING I WILL REGRET LATER!! And that something is to let the opportunity slip through my fingers, heh…