I Needed That...

I thought… I reasoned… I questioned a lot before I made the decision… I just didn’t want to get my hopes too high… I was just afraid, I guess… I thought and I reasoned again… I finally decided… And so there I was last Friday, at U Bowl, One Utama… Although I wasn’t part of the team, just being out in the fun was a breather, something that I so needed :))

Week 1: Kah Mun (from the Praise Givers), Evelyn, Calvin (a fellow church member), Debbie Debbie

Week 2: Debbie Debbie [psst: hey girl, u can do it one ;) ur house so near One U *shh* practice makes perfect rite?]

[Someone suggested that I could try bowling since I dun need to move around, juz be at the lane and shoot. But the ball kinda heavy la :p]

I was questioned about certain things, and why I did what I did. Was I sure about my own actions? Only God knows, haha. All in all, I needed that… For which I really appreciate Evie for offering to come all the way to pick me up. Thanks, dear!! Gambate, Light House!! You guys shall win the championship. Amen? :))

YOU MAKE ME "SCATTERED"!!

I seem to have been missing out on some things in my life. Ever since having to go in and out of the hospital, I have not been attending Sunday services and serving in Royal Rangers regularly. I have been missing out on so much as far as a couple of close friends are concerned.

I happened to pop by a friend’s blog, only to realize that I made the wrong move. I really did!! After reading her latest entry, it’s like rubbing salt to the wound. Right then, it made me so emo. I was frustrated, I was angry. I was disappointed in many ways. I couldn’t even understand myself. If I can’t work towards it, can I then find my way back out? I just wanted some time for myself. More than that, I wanted to be out and away, alone. Thank God for close friends who never questioned, but just did their best to be there for you. I know it is not fair to demand him for his time, so I was actually just trying my luck on this. I was glad he said yes. I was glad he offered. Thanks dear!!

He never did thought of a specific place to bring me. Just that he was willing to take me on rounds to nowhere (joy ride, he said), so to speak, just so that I could “set my mind straight again”. After a while, he suggested visiting a friend over at Sungai Long. Not being sure of the directions to her place, we missed a turning, and in so doing lost our way, haha. How on earth did we end up in Kajang? :)) So, I had longer time to “bising”, haha.

Making the best out of the blunder, we agreed on satay kajang [it really took my mind off those nonsense for a while there, heh]. Sitting down for some satay, memories of things that happened back when we were younger really made me smile. Silly things we did as a group of young teenagers back then :p on the other hand, opening up about all the bad experiences that we would rather not re-live. Shedding light on some of the things that “stretched” us, I won’t deny the fact that God has been the source of strength in this friendship.

And friends are friends forever
If the Lord’s the Lord of them
And a friend will not say never
Coz the welcomes will not end
And I know this will be true
It’s the Lord who showed me faith
And a lifetime’s not too long to live as friends [by Michael W. Smith]

I was a scatterbrain right from Monday itself, and I didn’t get any better until the night I spilled everything. In fact, I can’t deny what is on the surface. I can’t deny that I am actually just running away from reality. You really make me so “scattered”. But at least it got me thinking of what I really wanted. So I decided to “stay away from danger” for the moment. I don’t wanna be a scatterbrain. But really, how long can it last?

IN BIG TROUBLE!!

I’m in big trouble!! What did I get myself into? I now begin to realize how trapped and entangled I have been. I never thought I would end up in such a big mess when I started this “game.” I thought it looked innocent and safe to go on. Little did I know that I was heading in for trouble. But why? Did I just disappointed myself by putting my hopes too high?

Thinking of it really gives me sleepless nights. Having one foot stuck in this situation, I can’t seem to go forward nor can I turn back to the beginning. I guess the biggest mistake was to play with fire and accidentally setting it of in deadly flames. I try very hard to turn back, but I realize it is taking too much strength physically, mentally and emotionally.

To regret and cry over it, I find no tears falling. To be hopeful and smile at it, I see no light at the end of this tunnel. How long more will I be trapped in my own mistake? It breaks my heart, it just really do!! Lord, help me!! When will this torment ever end? I am just another ordinary human. I can’t take it anymore. Am I to blame for looking for trouble myself?

MALAYSIAN "ELVIS" COMES TO TOWN...

Yes!! The “Malaysian Elvis Presley” is coming to town. He sings great songs with his great voice to serve a great God. I have heard him sing, heard him minister, and he’s none other than H. T. Long. Some call him Elvis Long, haha.

Like the brochure says, he’ll be here to perform at DUMC’s Easter event. Usually their annual production play is held twice yearly, one for Easter and the other Christmas. But this time around it looks a little different. I would say it’s gonna be fun, haha.

IT ALL BEGINS WITH "ME"...

When will we learn to take on the humility of Jesus and begin to live right in His sight? Many a times, it is easier to play teacher or even counselor and begin prying into the lives of others rather than examining ourselves first. When will we stop to listen rather than just talk and talk? Remember the GOLDEN RULE? And Jesus gave us 2 ears and 1 mouth; to listen more and talk less… Hahaha :))

Humans are not perfect. Not me, not you. So why compare, why judge? If we say, we love God, shouldn’t we love our neighbours as well? And just what IS love?

* Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud.

* It is not rude, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs.

* Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth.

* It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres.

* Love never fails…

Are we, then, practising what we preach? Really, it all begins with “me”!! Search ourselves b4 we dig into others *winkz*

10 THINGS GOD WON'T ASK...

1) God won’t ask what kind of car you drove;
He’ll ask how many people you drove who didn’t have transportation.

2) God won’t ask the square footage of your house;
He’ll ask how many people you welcomed into your home.

3) God won’t ask about the clothes you had in your closet;
He’ll ask how many people you helped to clothe.

4) God won’t ask what your highest salary was;
He’ll ask if you compromise your character to obtain it.

5) God won’t ask what your job title was;
He’ll ask if you performed your job to your best ability.

6) God won’t ask how many friends you had;
He’ll ask how many people to whom you were a friend.

7) God won’t ask in what neighborhood you lived;
He’ll ask how you treated your neighbors.

8) God won’t ask about the color of your skin;
He’ll ask about the content of your character.

9) God won’t ask why it took you so long to seek salvation;
He’ll lovingly take you to your mansion in heaven, and not to the gates of hell.

10) God won’t ask how many people you forwarded this to;
He’ll ask if you were ashamed to pass it on to your friends.

* Happy moments, praise God.
* Difficult moments, seek God.
* Quiet moments, worship God.
* Painful moments, trust God.
* Every moment, thank God.

Are we living God’s standards?

How Is It?

One, two, three, four, five
Once I caught a fish alive
Six, seven, eight, nine, ten,
Then I let it go again.

Why did you let it go?
Coz it bit my finger so
Which finger did it bite
The little finger on my right.

Things that I have let go, things that I still hold on to. How is it that she saw some improvement in this when I don’t see any progress myself? I caught them all, but I had to let them all go one by one? Will this last one slip right through as well? Will I never see them coming true? When? How? Why? Or rather why not? Do I really have to? What really is the factor? Me? You? Or Him? Us? Them?

I can’t help it!! But could I, really? For You, I will if I have to… Just for You!! I promise!!