GROWING MORE, WANTING MORE...

Being a Christian is far more than juz knowing, speaking and talking about Christ... it also means having a PERSONAL relationship with the Master (who is also a Fren to us), like how we wud a close fren... drawing closer and GROWING SPRIRITUALLY in the Lord is something i am constantly working on, and i thank u Lord for moulding me and most of all, helping me to see and realise the importance of it all!! i thank u Lord, for bringing me thru it all!!

Ever since the dumc retreat, i have been seeking the Lord for an answer to my request that i WUD BE ABLE TO GROW MUCH MORE SPIRITUALLY in Him... sorry if this wud offend anyone, but i'm not afraid to say that besides that, i'd wanna look for a group where i'd be able to blend/fit in easily, be it the age group, or the activities... thank God for frens who were there to support us in ALL that we do, no matter wat our decisions may be... thanx to u dear fren (u knw who u are =D u're the only one i mentioned this to anywayz), for accepting my reason when i told u and asked u to uphold me in prayers, abt this transition that i wud make sooner or later... thank u for supporting me and encouraging me to strive for the best for myself, appreciate that LOTS!! =D

i thought that the Lord has "spoken" & His decision's final when i began to seek Him for that new level of change (He has been silent for quite a while, which cud only mean, "elaine, stay where u are, for I am the same yesterday, today & 2mr!!")... but thank u Lord, UR TIMING is always best... and most of all, U KNOW BEST!! calvin called me this morning to lemme knw that he has spoken to a fren of his abt me wanting to visit their cell (well, err, probably join them in the long run? haha)... i was kinda surprised & shocked at the same time, that God's answer wud come out of the blues, but then again, i give all GLORY TO GOD!!

having shared with my mom abt certain things that happened in my personal life, she also encouraged me (in fact it sounded like as if she was all for this season of change for me) to PRAY & SEEK THE LORD FOR HIS WILL in my spiritual life... when i told her that calvin called, she'd given me the blessing to go ahead, if I was ready for the change myself, that is... thanx, mi, now that i know i have ur permission =) but i'll take it one day at a time, tho...

for now, all i know is i wanna go for the leaders retreat... yoohoo!! i wanna be REFRESHED & RECHARGED BY THE POWER OF GOD!! i wanna sit and bask in His presence... i wanna know wat greater things he has in store for me (one request in particular, eheh)... "i wanna come back to where i found U, where i first began my journey in U, Lord!! REMOVE ANY & ALL DISTRACTIONS so i can focus on U and U alone, amen!!"

1)when the music fades
all is stripped away
and i simply come
longing juz to bring
something that's of worth
that will bless ur heart

pre ch: i'll bring u more than a song
for a song in itself
is not what u have required
u search much deeper within
through the way things appear
u're looking into my heart

ch: i'm comin back to a heart of worship
when it's all about u
it's all about u, Jesus
i'm sorry Lord for the things i've made it
when it's all about u
it's all about u, Jesus

2)king of endless worth
no one could express
how much u deserve
though i'm weak & poor
all i have is Yours
every single breath

AND MORE... OK, LAST!!

ooh... nice, cool breeze *winkz*

a quick one while waiting for dad to bring the car...

MORE SNIP SNAPS...

alamak, why that candid shot?

more of us... wat to do... we juz love to be in front of the cams =D err, i mean juz the ET's *winkz*

us again... eheh ><

my beloved family =D

PICTURES & SNAPSHOTS...

Haiyah, my bro... Too free, nothin better to do *lolx*

My mom and I...

My dad and I...

The 3 et's on their way to Langkawi...

Look at that... my sister's artwork again ><

My sis and I =)

The 3 et's again... Juz foolin around with the cam =D

My lovely parents *winkz*

ANOTHER BREAKAWAY… SURPRISE, TOO!!

Langkawi, aahhh… yes, a family holiday getaway is what I needed… the longer the better, haha =D just needed to relieve myself of all the work stress I'm currently facing… we left on Tuesday morn, took us about 5 and a half hours to arrive at the jetty, afterwhich it took us another 1 and a half to get across to the island… my parents were a teeny bit worried it might be inconvenient getting into the boat, but thank God it wasn’t a big problem after all!!

Hmm, somehow it kinda reminded me of the Camporama we had last year… or rather it reminded me of Corinne… dono lar, just somehow thought of her, of the times we spent 2gether, getting to know more of each other, hehe… hey gurl, cheers to u… all the best in everything ~ hugz ~

All in all, I had a great time there… some pics taken, but they’re still in the process… will be posting them up soon, eheh…

Ooh, yea… just a little sidetrack… I mentioned in the second and the third entry before this that I was being excited about the offer andrew told me about… ok, a brief lil explanation on this: i was chatting with andrew a couple weeks back about my job frustrations bla bla and as he was thinking of a solution to this, it suddenly just occurred to him that I fit in to the requirements for this Leadership Training in Japan: A Program for Persons with Disability where I’d be sent there to study and learn INDEPENDENCE and LEADERSHIP as well… he’d asked me if I was interested… wow, honestly, when I first heard that, I was nodding in agreement to it and was smiling ever so widely =D who’d be silly enuff to let this opportunity slip by? 机会, 失去了不在回来, 把握它吧!!

So, yea, I was all hyped up about it and obviously I began praying real hard about this… I wanted it to be from the Lord… I didn’t wanna let my own emotions and desires overcome me… then somehow, when he did not reply me, I told myself not to put my hopes too high; the higher I put my hopes, the greater the impact if it ever falls and breaks!! 希望越大, 失望越大!! But then, as I was in the boat, journeying back from Langkawi, I got a call from Elaine Sia, one of BG’s staff, telling me that she’d brought the form for me to fill in, asking me to collect it from BG… Lord, can that be considered a sign from you?

I asked for a sign, wanting to be sure that this is all from Him… so I told the Lord that if andrew replies me this time, it would be a confirmation!! True enuff, when I checked my mailbox the next day, he’d sent me a reply… yoohoo!! I didn’t wanna spread this out to everyone yet, just in case Andrew and Elaine didn’t get back to me, and it turned out to be a disappointment… so, the very first two persons to whom I shared this with were only pastor sam and wei… but now that andrew and elaine have gotten back to me with the reply, to all those who are reading this, please keep me in your prayers for I really truly wanna go for it =) pray that if it’s God's will, all will turn out well and I’d be short listed for the interview here in Malaysia before going over…

Lord, have your way in me… la la la la

GOD KNOWS BEST...

God just speaks/works in ways we least expect, really… I have a habit of playing songs randomly while working on my comp (just to keep me awake, haha), and as I was typing the last entry about my irritation and frustrations, these 2 songs were on… Coincidence or what? well, He knows what He’s doin, amen? no one except He Himself will know what is going to happen in the future…

Thank You, Jesus!!

DIA BUKA JALAN (translation from God Will Make A Way)

Korus:
Dia buka jalan
Saat tiada jalan
Dengan cara yang ajaib
Dia buka jalan bagiku

Dia menuntun ku
Dan memeluk diriku
Dengan kasih dan kuasa-Nya
Dia buka jalan
Dia buka jalan

Di belantara Dia tetap menuntun ku
Sungai di gurun ku temui
Syurga (seharusnya dinyanyikan: langit) bumi
Kan lenyap
Tapi firman-Nya tetap
Saat ini, Dia buka jalan

[solois: Bram Manusama]

TIADA S’PERTI KAU (translation from There Is None Like You)

Korus:
Tiada s’perti Kau
Yang t’lah menjamah
Segenap hatiku
Tak seorang pun di dalam hidup in
S’perti Kau Tuhan

Kasih-Mu s’perti sungai mengalir
Kuasa-Mu menyembuhkan
Air mata pun Engkau hapuskan
Tiada s’perti Kau

[solois: Tirza Sahertian]

IRRITATED, FRUSTRATED!!

Oh gosh… I'm just so not in the mood to work!! Ever since I received this email from my boss on the 11th, my mood to continue working just sky-rocketed downwards =\ imagine cutting our pay by 75%??!! from RM 1.50 per call to RM 0.50 per call? Wanna cut costs, konon!! I find it kinda ridiculous… not only that, he sent us that mail on the 11th, but the new payment adjustments was stated to be effective on the 1st… see that?? Mana boleh??!!

(just a bit of explanation here… I'm doin telemarketing, so my job requires me to make phone calls to companies, making sure their details in the database are accurate and up-to-date… and I'm paid RM 1.50 per full record, so to cover up for my phone bills as well)

I’ve been with this company (BG Information Services) for one year plus liao… I liked it working with them… but now that this has happened, I kinda want something better, if you know what I mean… I’ve always liked working outside though, the real office environment… but then again, it’s the facilities of the company that I gotta take into consideration… haihz…

So, anyways, after much discussion with my colleague, wai ling (who’s also working from her home) and my parents, we came to a conclusion that we remain paying our own phone bills (which we’ve always been doin, anyway), and now we are willing to pay for the streamyx as well, with request that they give us RM 1.50 per call… wai ling suggest that I talk to our boss, she just chip in here n there… ok, fine!! I proposed 2 options… either they pay us RM 1.00 plus our streamyx, or they remain paying us RM 1.50 and streamyx we “kau tim” ourselves…

She said to let her know latest by that week itself, but when we wanted to speak to her about it, she was rushing off to somewhere and obviously not free at that time, haihz… seriously, we’re not quite in the mood to work already la (hmm, but still have to, for income sake… haihz) so STRESSED!! Hrrghhh!!

Lord, i need your direction!! Honestly Lord, I want that offer Andrew told me about =D I want something new, hehe… ooh, I'm just so excited about the whole thing!!

Waiting… still waiting…