Is Cerebral Palsy (CP) genetic? 脑性麻痹症是否会遗传？

It never did cross my mind that this may be a subject playing in the mind of a potential, if we ever got together, and plan to start a life together. I was recently confronted with whether CP is genetic, and will eventually affect our future children, if I were ever to start a family, haha. I guess people think that this may be a very sensitive issue, and perhaps did not wanna hurt me by posing such questions.

I don’t think it is an issue to be worried about because I was not born with it. It only happened after a fever attack. To give you the benefit of the doubt, particularly on the genetic question, see this. Does it clear your doubts now? ;)

Also, view the history of CP, the causes of CP, and the various types of CP for further knowledge. So,朋友们。。 终于清楚CP的情况了吗？ 终于明白CP是不会遗传的吗？哈哈哈。。当我听到一位朋友说CP遗传， 这真的笑死我了。。 哈哈哈。。

AS BREAD THAT IS (REALLY) BROKEN...

Haven’t been a faithful believer like people see me to be. Revival? What’s the use of being gungho for church revival when all I really desperately need is personal revival first? When this song was being sung in church about 2 weeks ago, I couldn’t help it but dig for tissue again. How broken can I get? How hurt can I get? Though it was not, is not, and will not be a “burden”, yet it has indeed been a “burden” that I have no choice but to finally put down.

Why am I so broken? Why the sudden deterioration of communication? Why the unwillingness of trying to accept unchangeable facts? I know I am awaiting the day that I will explode, haha. I am human, for goodness sake!! When, O Lord, will all these hurts end? When, O Lord, will justice be shown? Why, O Lord, do I need to go through all these shit?

As Bread That Is Broken

O Lord, this wounded sheep of Yours
I need your healing touch

握你的手。。。

山顶的风凉的想钻进我内心
Shan ding de feng liang de xiang zuan jin wo nei xin
沉默是我们最近唯一的话题
Chen mo shi wo men zui jin wei yi de hua ti
看曾经亲密的爱慢慢像友谊
Kan ceng jing qin mi de ai man man xiang you yi
爱是流星一坠落就不停
Ai shi liu xing yi zhui luo jiu bu ting

我们尝试让彼此差异能隐形
Wo men chang shi rang bi ci cha yi neng yin xing
遗憾的是回避不能解决问题
Yi han de shi hui bi bu neng jie jue wen ti
当我疲倦的凝望你憔悴表情
Dang wo pi juan de ning wang ni qiao cui biao qing
再不舍得也该让你远离
Zai bu she de ye gai rang ni yuan li

握你的手坚持到最后一秒钟
Wo ni de shou jian chi dao zui hou yi miao zhong
哪怕爱要冰凉了
Na pa ai yao bing liang le
至少让回忆是暖的
Zhi shao rang hui yi shi nuan de
了解比爱难多了
Liao jie bi ai nan duo le
我们都尽力了
Wo men dou jin li le
也许温柔是停止(再)挽留
Ye xu wen rou shi ting zhi (zai) wan liu

握你的手像耳语轻声说保重
Wo ni de shou xiang er yu qing sheng shuo bao zhong
让眼睛就算湿了不只是痛也有感动
Rang yan jing jiu suan shi le bu zhi shi tong ye you gan dong
以前每一次挥手都为了再握手
Yi qian mei yi ci hui shou dou wei le zai wo shou
但这一次是为了放手
Dan zhe yi ci shi wei le fang shou

你们开心了吗？ 别再让他再受伤了， 好不好？ 他也是人耶！！

这首歌，我不懂是好还是坏。。很久以前， 我妹妹把光良的album带回来。。 那时候， 我最爱的歌， 就是“童话” 和 “握你的手”。。 我这个“香蕉人”， 歌词什么意思， 我也不懂的。。 可是现在我华语进步了不少，哈哈。。 那么久了， 才真正的懂意思。。 不！！ 应该说发生在身上才懂歌词的意思。。 哈哈。。

我experiment了很久， 才看得懂， 原来我就像副歌里面所说的。。不能否认， 最近我眼睛很容易湿， 很容易流泪。。 那是痛苦， 感动， 还是不舍得呢？ 3个都有啦， 哈哈。。 也许外人不会明白我的困难， 因为他们更本不会了解我所面对的压力。。这次带出的刺语， 还不是一样的意思吗？ 还不是一样要我“想清楚”吗？

哪怕爱要冰凉了，至少让回忆是暖的，了解比爱难多了，我们都尽力了。。我为什么会放弃， 我为什么会退步？全世界不明白， 无所谓。。 只要你一个明白， 我已经很开心了 :) 爱冰凉了， 有原因的。。 说出来， 你们会明白吗？ 还是不说了， 哈哈。。

以前每一次挥手， 都为了再握手。。 但这一次， 是为了放手。。以前每一次去他家，玩的很开心。。的确是为了再握手。。可是现在， 我还有这个机会吗？ 的确没有。。 因为放手了！！ 开心了吗？ 满意了吗?

我要回到儿童乐园。。。

当我在上个星期的ai.fm节目里听到红蜻蜓这首歌， 就让我想起童年时候。。怀念我小时候的生活。。 那种没烦恼没压力的生活， 哈哈。。

和我玩皮却又可爱的学生们已有半年了。。 他们不只受教导， 反而也多多少少的让我从他们身上学习了很多做人的道理。。小孩子就是小孩子， 只懂得玩。。 除了考试做功课， 其他事情是kacang putih 了 :p

他们不会明白出外的危险，家人的吵闹，工作的压力， 甚至爱情的复杂。。我有一次听到一个十岁的小孩， 当他父母在吵架时， 就很天真可又很像大人的样子去问他两老“你们是不是吃饱没事情做？吵吵闹闹！！这样小小的事情，祷告啦！！”

很烦！！很累！！很显！！ 我要回到儿童乐园。。 因为做个小孩子，真的不必有工作，家庭和爱情的烦恼。。

Falling in love??

If falling in love means hurting the other person in the process, I’d rather not fall in love ever again. If falling in love merely means breaking hearts, including that of my own, I’d rather not fall in love ever again.

I know no one is perfect, but then again, I can’t deny the fact that I am even more imperfect because of an obvious disability. Perhaps I will never be good enough for a physically perfect partner. I finally know what I want.

If it is right for me to give my heart away, I want to give it to the right person. If my first choice was never the right one to begin with in the eyes of other people, then my other choices following the first one will never be right.

Therefore, I promise not to fall in love again, unless I can be sure I will never break an innocent heart again. It is tough, I know, but it would be better than cracking a hole in that innocent little heart, and striving to mend it again.

Comparisons...

I don’t deny the fact that I have made comparisons many many times in my life. Comparisons of things and situations in my life with that of others. Others live a life that I am envious of. More often than not, I get feedbacks that are to the contrary. Just a few days back, as I was chatting with a close friend about life as a disabled, I found out that she also had an envious feeling towards me for the things I had that she did not have.

I know he cares a lot for me, but unfortunately, I have hurt him time and again :-( I know the reason why I made such a decision… I know what I want… I do not wish to be hurt, but I have hurt him yet again :-( I couldn’t help it but went emo again after the msn conversation with Ling Lee…琳荔， 别笑我没用哦， 呵呵。。

Finally, some friends began to get the picture of my living life with family. Not that I am not appreciative or complaining. Just that I want some space to do certain things the way I feel comfortable. Comparisons about living with and without family, comparisons about the treatments from different groups of people, be it family, friends or even outsiders… Haih… I just wish I wouldn’t be so helpless… Gosh, I feel the tears again :-(

Friends just tell me to pray, pray and pray more… and most importantly hang on to God, never give up… I have to bare myself to say that whenever it comes to this particular issue or subject, I feel spiritually dry :-( I don’t see where the improvement is when all they do is “reject” my guy friends whom I am close to… not for any other reason except the obvious fact that they are OKUs. What the crap? Why the bloody discrimination? What comparisons can you make between a disabled and a non disabled? How much better can you guarantee that a non disabled be compared to a disabled?

What is all this shit? 琳荔， 你说我好幸福， 你羡慕我。。 以后不要再羡慕我了哦， 因为我所面对的完全和你相反， 呵呵。。

怎么会这样？？

一直的对自己说要坚强，　要坚强。。　可是我再次失败了。。　昨晚上了床过后，　眼泪一直流的不停。。　他告诉我说昨天（也就是拜6）他和琳荔他们要聚会，　问我要不要一起。。　我很辛苦！！　好累！！　我到底几时才能有自己自由的生活呢？　尤其是交朋友方面。。　怎么会这样？　连交朋友也要紧紧的控制我？　我很想答应他，　可是却很怕家人会再反对。。为什么？

我好辛苦！！　表面上，　我给人家看到坚强的我，　使得他们信任我而把心事说给我听，　让我可以和他们分担问题。。　可是我自己所面对的问题，　又有谁能和我分担呢？　最近，　我时常都会胡思乱想，　时常都会湿眼。。　有谁会了解我？　找来找去，　也不是那几位残障朋友。。真的谢谢你们。。 我相信没有其他人能够清楚的了解残障人士的感受， 除非他们自己也体会过身体有残缺的这种的感受。。

不知自己为何最近那么敏感。。　动不动就小气。。　动不动就很想哭。。怎么会这样？　还记得那天琳荔说，　她看得出我的 “persistence”。。 她说我很坚强的坚持到底。。 说到她， 我真的很佩服她。。虽然我们认识不久， 相处不多， 可是只要我和她一起的时候， 她可以让我觉得很轻松， 完全没有压力。。 不必假装， 不必逃避自己。。

另外， 我20年的愿望已经实现了。。 虽然不是亲哥哥， 可是只要你能明白了解我， 我有心事时， 你做我的听众， 有眼泪时借我肩膀。。 我就会很感激你了。。 哥， 谢谢你！！至于“怎么会这样”这个问题呢。。 只有上帝才能给我真确的答案。。 希望“怎么会这样”会跟着时间而飘过。。 迎接一个美好的答案来。。